May 27, 1998

Hi, everybody. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I just have two summer jobs. No, that's not the real reason for the lack of synopses. The real reason is . . . well, I don't know if you've noticed but sometimes Days is kinda hard to sit through. :-) But here is Wednesday's Synopsis.

Billie is in New Orleans.
Roman: Billie, I was so worried about you!
Billie: What a shame that the couples who care about each other are never actually "couples."
Roman: Call Bo and talk about your baby.
Billie: NO!!
Roman: That was not at all a strange reaction indicating that something may be wrong.
Billie: Now let's go to Salem. We can get there in seconds. Just watch, no time will have passed in the other storylines before we arrive.
Roman: Well, here we are in Salem. Let's go home.
Billie: I have to take care of some things. Like borrowing Kristen's purple pillow . . .
Roman: Duh-pillow?
Billie: Salem men.

MEANWHILE, Bo and Hope are buying Billie a present.
Bo: I need something for the mother of my child.
clerk: Oh, Hope.
Bo: My other child.
clerk: That's right. You're John's brother.

OVERVOICE: We will return for the second half of Days of Our Lives in just a moment.

Announcer: Michelle never cleans her shower.
Michelle: Because I have Clean Shower?
Announcer: No. Because you have a maid.

(A plane comes into view.)
Man: You're in luck. I'm your pilot.
Woman: Oh, good. Now I know I'll be safe. Heeeeyyyy . . . aren't you being played by Harrison Ford? Because the people in Air Force One and The Fugitive and Star Wars and Indiana Jones didn't have very happy vacations.
Man: You're going to have all the vacation you can take.
Woman: (resigned)It never does to get on a plane with Harrison Ford.

MEANWHILE, John and Doc are at the wreckage of Maison Blanche.
Doc: Stefano has done so many awful things. That's why I'm smiling.
John: I wonder why Stefano called this place Maison Blanche. It should have been called Brainwash Central.
Doc: John, John, John. This isn't Brainwash Central. Far more people get brainwashed in Salem than in New Orleans every year.
John: I forgot. Just another thing that bastard DiMera stole from me.
Doc: He stole from Hope as well. Why did he call her Gina?
John: The next consonant after "G" is "H". The next vowel after "I" is "O". The next consonant after "N" is "P". Et cetera.
Doc: Whoa! Did you just have an insight?
John: No, that's just ClayZebra making up lines for me because what I actually said was too boring to repeat.
Doc: Which won't stop you from repeating in tomorrow.
John: Or the next day.
Doc: Just remember that as long as we're together, Stefano can't hurt us. All those times he held us both captive at the same time-
John: Anomalies.

MEANWHILE, Franco is talking to himself.
Franco: Sami shouln be so excied about Austin. It was jus a lille spahing mash. H'I mus marry her. I can' be depored. I can' go back to Ialy. (Franco then grabs Sami and drags her into a closet.) Le's haf sex.
Sami: Okay. You're so wonderful. This relationship is almost as healthy as the one I has with Austin.
Franco: I'm wonerful because I haf the ri parner. I luf h'you, Samanda. Only h'you.
Sami: "Samanda?" Well, at least it's better than "Peanut".
Lucas: (outside the door) They're having sex in there. That's disgusting! Sex instead of work at Titan! Just because I did it with Sami and Carrie and Austin did it and John and Marlena did it and Kate and Victor did it doesn't make it okay! I can't believe I had sex with Sami. It was a temporary lapse of sanity. (to camera) See, folks, I'm talking about how much I hate Sami because I'm actually in love with her. Clever of the writers, huh? But don't worry. We won't get together until we've both been recast by models who've never had acting jobs before.

End of Show

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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