May 18, 1998

Okay, here's Monday's Synopsis (a little late).

Bo and Hope are being attacked by thugs. (Wayne & Earl)
Bo: This is what Hope looked like after she fell into a vat of acid.
Wayne: There can't be two of them!
Hope: What do you mean?
Bo: He means that we get to spend a few more years wondering if you're really Hope and I get to be at the center of yet another love triangle between you and the Swamp Thing.
Earl: Just for that, I'm gonna shoot you. (he does)
Hope: Bo! Are you hurt?
Bo: Come on. You know that if anything was really going to happen to me it would have been in the commercials for months.
Hope: That whole experience was strange. Not normal like surviving being doused with acid and losing your memory and accidentally going back to the town where your ex-husband is engaged to another woman.
Bo: Oh, no, a thunderstorm! Get under a tree.
Hope: That's the best way to hide from lightening. (Lightening strikes the tree and Bo and Hope fry. However, they have actually been saved by Stefano and brainwashed. They'll be back in a few years.)

MEANWHILE, Billie and Roman are waiting for Bo and Hope.
Marlena: (arriving) What a SHOCK! The third part of my love triangle with John JUST HAPPENS to be in the same room as us.
John: And Billie's here, too. It's too bad she's coming between Bo and Hope.
Marlena: Yeah, Bo had nothing to do with her being pregnant with his baby just like my poor sweet John had nothing to do with Kristen being pregnant with his baby.
John: Well, the strongest love prevails. For about five minutes.
Roman: (runs into Marlena) Sorry, Doc. I did that completely by accident. Really.
Marlena: That's okay. John and I are going to see more of this beautiful city. We hear it has lots of places where you can be imprisoned.

MEANWHILE, Kate and Stefano are at Titan.
Stefano: I used to be connected to disreputable people.
Kate: YOU? Naw.
Sami: (interrupting) Hi, Kate, you big slut, give me some money.
Stefano: Don't speak to her like that!
Sami: Okay. (leaves)
Lucas: (outside) Stefano put you in your place without even trying! Imagine what he could do to you if he tried!
Sami: Okay, I'm imagining I was born into a happy family. Then my father was presumed dead. (Stefano's fault.) Then my father came back to life looking like a different man. (Stefano's fault.) Then my mother was presumed dead. (Stefano's fault.) Then my mother came back to life. (Stefano's fault.) Then my original father came back to life and the
only parent I'd really known told me I wasn't his daughter. (Stefano's fault.) I also imagine that he could repeatedly kidnap my mother, and kidnap me when I was a baby.
Lucas: I said IMAGINE! You have no imagination at all. And I don't understand why you're afraid of him but no one else.
Franco: (arriving for a date with Sami) Que bella!
Sami: What does that mean?
Franco: It means that dress looks like something you should be married in, you're showing way too much cleavage, and your hair looks like you got in a fight with a vacuum cleaner and lost.
Sami: It sounds better in Italian.

MEANWHILE, at Carrie's apartment.
Austin: I'm . . . uh . . . . a culinary whiz. I'm . . . uh . . . making . . . uhh . . . Indian food.
Nicole: I'll help.
Eric: You're a guest!
Nicole: You trust Duh-Boy to cook your food?
Eric: You'd better go into the kitchen.
Carrie: Nicole seems nice. I always expected you to date a real dog.
Austin: Let's . . . uhh . . . play a . . . uhh . . . game. Truth . . or . . . uhh . . . dare.
Carrie: I'll clean up.
Nicole: I'll help.
Carrie: No. I need time alone to fantasize about Mike.
Eric: Austin, what is the most romantic moment of your life?
Austin: Uhhh . . . without sounding like a fool . . .
All: Too late.
Nicole: Eric, what would your perfect woman be like?
Eric: Honest, intelligent, caring, with a sense of humor.
All: Sorry, there's no one like that in Salem.
Nicole: Carrie, do you ever think of anyone besides your mate?
All: Wow, these questions aren't fixed!

End of Show
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