April 3, 1998

Woo hoo! It's Friday's Synopsis! The next one should be coming in about a week. And you'd better start looking forward to it- or else. (Just kidding. But here is today's edition.)

At the police station.
Abe: Well, we have three pairs of gloves and a coat and gunpowder residue.
Roman: (thoughtfully) There can't be that many people in Salem with six hands and a habit of rolling around in gunpowder.
Abe: Well, let's get to work.
Stefano: (entering) Why haven't you punished the killer of my daughter?
Abe: We're incompetent.
Stefano: Oh, I forgot. I'm just so upset about Kristen- when I told her she was a failure and I disinherited her and all, well, that kind of thing doesn't mean much. (he walks out tearfully singing "Butterfly Kisses")

MEANWHILE, John and Marlena are discussing various happenings.
John: Here are some scones!
Marlena: Since when do we eat? I certainly can't. I'm worried about Laura. I don't think she did it, and I'm loyal to my friends. That's why I turned her in.
John: You're such a good friend.
Marlena: I know.
John: Look! It's Chelsea and the kids!
Marlena: Where?
John: You didn't look fast enough.
Marlena: You're so silly. We both know that if we had kids, we'd have to take care of them now and then. And we'd remember them. Now, let's go hammer a woman with a history of mental problems and repressed memories about not remembering a murder.
John: You're such a good friend.
Marlena: I know.
John: At least things are going well for Susan. She's lucky it wasn't her in the pool.
Marlena: (to the camera) That's called irony, folks.

MEANWHILE, Edmond is planning his surprise wedding.
Edmond: Sister Mary Moira, will you come to my wedding with Susan?
Sister: Well, I've been pretty nasty to you ever since we've met, but okay.(as he leaves) Susan will love her surprise. Every woman likes to have this kind of thing sprung on her.
Edmond: (now with "Susan") I know something you don't know.
"Susan": Such as the fact that I'm not Susan, I'm Kristen, and the real Susan is being held captive somewhere?
Edmond: That wasn't a suspicious comment. (he leaves)
"Susan": (on phone) Stefano! Get me out of here!
Stefano: Okay. Are you sure you don't want to be Mrs. Edmond P. Crumb?
"Susan": That would make me feel crumby.
Stefano: I'm sending you a car. It will look perfectly normal for Susan to be picked up by a DiMera car.
"Susan": Good. I don't want to look at Edmond anymore. It's so hard to look at a drop-dead gorgeous model wearing ugly glasses and bad clothes.
Edmond: Surprise! It's Elvis!
"Susan": Elvis! (pauses) You weren't fifteen years old the last time I saw you, a few months ago.
Elvis: Well, this is Salem. Are there any babies around for me to kidnap?

MEANWHILE, Sami, Eric, and Franco meet Nicole.
Sami: I'm worried about getting into trouble for doing a secret photoshoot. I'm not used to doing things I've been forbidden to do.
Eric: Come on, Nicole. But don't get in trouble with your boss.
Nicole: OW! My tooth!
Eric: You're a good liar.
Nicole: Well, I do plan on dating a Brady. I need the practice.
Franco: Neecole, hue har a natur-al madel.
Sami: I can't wait to show Kate.
Franco: No! Hue can' show Kate! She isn on the show today.

MEANWHILE, Laura is having problems.
Mickey: Laura, why didn't you call me?
Laura: Because you're a lousy lawyer. No one in their right mind would call you.
Mickey: You aren't in your right mind.
Laura: Oh. You're hired.

End of Show
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