January 5, 1998

Your vacation is over and you're just dying to know what happened on Days?(No, not really.) Like it or not, everything is right here.

Roman is spying on John and Marlena as they kiss on the plane.
Roman: She loves John? How could I have known? Maybe I should have taken all those times they stared at each other across the room, all those presents, all of Doc's reluctance to spend time with me, all those dirty looks our twins gave John, as a hint. How could she lie? She's never lied before. She didn't lie when she was married to me and sleeping with
John. It's not like Peter had to have someone break into our house and read Sami's diary for me to learn the truth about Belle. (He begins to collapse) Damn that Peter! The jungle fever is spreading! Is that heartbeat music I hear?
Marlena (around the corner): John, we should go to Carrie's benefit.
John: It isn't New Year's Day anymore.
Marlena: Don't be silly. It will last at least another few weeks. (they leave)
Roman: Well, I can't win Doc back from John. But I can wreck his plane!

MEANWHILE, the party is still going on.
Austin: Billie has fainted!
Hope: Billie just collapsed in front of hundreds of people, and the brat wants her husband with her. Can you believe my luck?
Bo: Hope, I'm so sorry. It's just awful that Billie's being dizzy and embarrassed has inconvenienced you.
Hope: (lifting her chin bravely) I'll manage to get along somehow.
Carrie: Austin, Bo can take Billie home. I want to dance with my gorgeous husband.
Austin: You married Mike?
Eric: She meant you. Kristen, are you making my mom's life difficult again?
Kristen: It's not my fault she's a glutton for attention. She likes to have men fight over her. I would never do that. I never, say, pitted John and Tony against each other
Sami: (nearby) Franco, I love dancing with you. You can't seem to take your eyes off me.
Franco: Wha reh blo-ih man couh?
Sami: Well, Austin.
Franco: I said "reh blo-ih" nah "rea stu-pih".
Sami: Sorry. But thanks for helping with the Plan.
Franco: I'm seh-ing mihone pla ih acshan.

MEANWHILE, Jack is driving to the Grand Canyon.
Jack: I'm glad I've got this mustache to disguise myself. And a gun to point at my daughter in case she jumps up in the back seat.
Abby: Daddy, are you playing dress up?
Jack: You recognized me!
Jennifer: Just because a five-year-old can recognize you, that doesn't mean the Salem police can.
Jack: You're right! But I'm still upset; I don't want my wife and my daughter endangered.
Jennifer: We aren't married. You can't boss me around until I am your wife. But don't worry, nothing will ever come between us except the fact that Peter is so sick I feel I'll have to marry him and just be with you on the side.
Abby: I can't sleep.
Jennifer: We'll go to a hotel with beds. We'll have a nice rest.
Abby: Yeah, you and Daddy want a bed so you can REST.
(and in the car behind them . . .)
Peter: Jack is dangerous! He has a gun and he was brought up to be a dirty business man and a liar. He's so different from me. I have to save Jenn from a boring existence with him. When we were married . . . well, we didn't do much because I was busy trying to have Jack killed and defending myself from those "false accusations". But we would have
done something fun if he hadn't been there.
(and at the hotel)
clerk: Your little girl looks like my granddaughter. Hey, maybe she is. You can never be too sure about who is related to who.
Jennifer: Well, we have to put her to bed.
clerk: Make sure not to take off her shoes.
Jennifer: We will.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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