|Thursday, May 3, 2001
It's Thursday's Synopsis! (Or at least a synopsis of the part of the show I watched when I was handing down guardianship of the sock-eating laundry monsters to my beloved underclassmen. I lead a busy life, you know.)
Jack, Jennifer, Abby, Hope, Julie and Alice are at Jack and Jennifer's new house.
Abby: Mother, Father, I pray you let me entreat a courtesy of you. I am sent for this morning by a friend from school, and I would like to return the favor and have a sleepover at our new house.
Jennifer/Jack: Doesn't she sound just like a normal eight-year-old?
Hope: (aside) Jenn, don't move in with Jack. Let's look at some other houses. What have you got to lose?
Jennifer: The opportunity to live with Jack, whom I love, I mean, hate.
MEANWHILE, in Teenville, Shawn-not-Douglas has his shirt off, and, um, I'm sure something else happened. Or maybe not. Did I mention Shawn-not-Douglas without a shirt?
Philip Tork: Where's Chlolita?
Shawn-not-Douglas: She's with Skipper. She's fine.
Philip Tork: Are you calling MY GIRL fine? Because she's MY GIRL!
Shawn-not-Douglas: Okay, she's your girl and it's none of my business. I haven't got any business, which is really a shame seeing as how I can act circles around the rest of the teen scene and look good with my shirt off. But be careful. Remember that educational film they showed us in seventh grade?
Philip Tork: Yeah, seventh grade. That would be four years ago, when I had just turned two.
Shawn-not-Douglas: I'm just sorry we didn't get to watch the female version, where a bunch of women who used to be in "Annie" come out and sing "Everybody has a heart-- but not everybody is lucky enough to have a uterus."
Jan: (arriving) Hi. I'll just insult your family and say that your brother must have been an accident because he's sixteen years younger than you. Never mind that your mother was dead for most of those sixteen years.
Shawn-not-Douglas: Hi. I'll just respond to your insults by telling you the intimate details of Abe Carver's life.
Mimi: (arriving) Hi, Philip Tork. How about I insult your girlfriend?
Philip Tork: Okay. Wow, you're such a good friend.
MEANWHILE, Skipper shows up at the Penthouse.
Skipper: Bwady lost his case, and he needs to vent. It's perfectly okay for him to vent by swearing at his stepmother, right? Anyway, he could be outside right now figuring out how to be a better person.
(John and Marlena call an asylum and have Skipper committed.)
End of Show
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