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Thursday, April 26, 2001

Line of the day goes to Susan, who shows that she is new in Salem by asking Chloe "Can I say something and not get you upset?" Runner up goes to Sami, who wonders if "Men wanna conk us on the head and drag us to their caves?" She obviously hasn't seen her stepfather lately.

Lexie meets Brandon.
Lexie: If you break the law by swapping Isaac's DNA with JT's, I'll get lipstick all over you.
Brandon: Deal.

MEANWHILE, Roman takes Kate to the clinic.
Kate: Since you're trying to take care of me while I'm in an enormous amount of pain when you really don't have to, I'll very politely tell you to SHUT UP AND DRIVE!
Roman: Okay. I'll take verbal abuse from the woman who has repeatedly tried to kill my daughter, who happens to be the only one of my children who much likes me.

MEANWHILE, Chloe (the mandatory Outcast) takes Susan (the mandatory Fat One) home.
Nancy: Say something.
Chloe: What should I say? Bite me?
Nancy: No, Days isn't into mother/daughter stuff. You could say it to Craig when he shows up, though.
Chloe: I'll go upstairs without inviting my friend to come along now.
Nancy: So, Susan, I see you're fat.
Susan: So are you.
Nancy: Am not!
Susan: Are too!
Nancy: Am not!
Susan: Are too!
Nancy: Am not!
Susan: Are too!
Nancy: Am not!
Susan: Are too!
Nancy: Am not!
Susan: Are too!

MEANWHILE, Sami and Will show up at the Brady Pub.
Sami: Know why I love to come here?
Will: You never work and your grandparents don't charge you for food?
Sami: No. Because no matter how many times parents and siblings and friends get recast, grandparents never change.
Will: Do I have any grandparents?
Sami: Yeah. Your grandfather is out helping the woman who tried to kill me twice, and your grandmother doesn't admit to being a grandmother because she's a soap diva.
Caroline: Sami! Will!
(cries)
Sami: Don't cry.
Caroline: But it's been so long since I've actually been on the air. I thought the writers had forgotten all about me. And, look at your sweet baby!
Will: I'm not a baby.
Caroline: Then stop mumbling your lines, look at the person you're supposed to be talking to, vary your facial expression--
Will: Okay, okay, I'm a baby.
Caroline: Sami, are you upset about Lucas?
ClayZebra: Five million brownie points for Caroline!
Sami: I'm only upset about Lucas in the warped minds of ClayZebra and the other Sami/Lucas fans. It's amazing that there are any left. They're so pathetically dedicated. But I'm happy because I have Will. It's so amazing being the one to foist him off on a sitter every day.

End of Show
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