|Monday, April 23, 2001
Welcome to the "it's too hot to do anything else, anyway" synopsis. Line of the day to Bo for "gourmet TV dinners." Lines of the day not previously awarded because I didn't see enough of their respective shows to write a summary go to Henderson for telling the fire department "Yes, the Kiriakis Mansion! You know where that is!" and to Philip for "If Dad wasn't so busy pretending to be dead . . ."
Julie, Alice, Jack, and Abby are at the Horton Center.
Alice: Julie, you could be wrong.
(Julie drops dead from shock at the thought.)
Abby: So, what are your thoughts on the parallels between the Bush-Gore election and the Hayes-Tilden election?
Jack: Wow, our dialogue writers really know how eight-year-olds talk.
MEANWHILE, Jennifer is at Hope and Bo's house.
Jennifer: Why does this house look familiar?
Hope: Can't imagine.
Jennifer: It's not important. At least I lucked out in the kid department.
Hope: True. It's great how Abby can have blonde hair and be almost as tall as you one day and have dark hair and be a foot shorter the next day.
Bo: Speaking of kids, Shawn-not-Douglas called to say he'd be home soon.
Hope: Isn't school in session in the next scene?
Bo: Maybe he calls home during study hall.
MEANWHILE, Chloe has been sprayed with chemicals and is taking a shower at school. (This portion of the synopsis is rated NC-17.)
Chloe: Well, it's only my hair that got soaked but I'll just somehow get bubbles over my entire body so they can get away with showing full-length shots on network television in the afternoon. (louder) Hey, Jan! Are you trying to set me up?
Jan: As if I have nothing better to do. You think that I'm just a one-note bitch, and Belle's just a one-note good girl, and Susan's just the mandatory fat one, and Kevin's just the mandatory nerd . . .?
Belle: You're a rotten liar.
Mimi: So ClayZebra isn't the only one who thinks my acting ability sucks!!!
Susan: I can't wait for summer, so I can watch my soaps. Hopefully the aren't full of boring, one-sided, stereotypical characters invented to lure in an audience younger than me.
MEANWHILE, Victor and Nicole have a new home.
Nicole: You were right to send Philip away. I've done fine without parents.
Victor: (running for the door, screaming) KATE!! KATE!!
MEANWHILE, Kate is living in the maid's car.
Kate: I'm hungry. The car needs gas. I don't deserve this. I should be living somewhere where you get medical care, and food, and you don't have to worry about gas, and you even get a free orange outfit. I remember the last time I was this hungry, when I had Austin and Billie with me. Now you'd think that if they were both old enough to walk and talk and behave in restaurants before we were separated, there wouldn't have been a problem with them recognizing me a few years ago. But that's not the point. The point is, I need a waitressing job.
Man: What are your qualifications?
Kate: These. (unbuttons her blouse and removes her bra)
Man: Good enough. I won't ask for an address, or a social security number, or anything like that.
Fay: Hi! My ex-husband is about to get out of jail but I'm going to cheerfully help train you.
Kate: You bitch.
Fay: What a nice woman you are.
End of Show
Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment
purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines
parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written
and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.