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Wednesday, March 28, 2001

We begin this synopsis with a moment of silence as it's Lucas' last air date. :-(

Thank you to various people for Philip's song of the day. I lost my list of who suggested what. Stupid computer. (All its fault, not mine, of course.)

Sami is in her apartment.
Sami: Who'd've thought that taking your little boy to school could be the best feeling in the world? Now that he's gone, I can get back to the important stuff. Austin. Brandon. Austin. Brandon. Austin. Brandon . . . and I can go online and read the latest episode of the Days of David's life! I hope Scarrie and Scammie and Smelle and Moronlena will be in it.
Austin:
(arriving) Why didn't anyone call me? The Kiriakis Mansion burned down and Lucas is comatose!
Sami: Maybe all the cell phones burned with the mansion.
(Austin leaves, Brandon arrives.)
Sami: I don't love you. I love Austin--
Brandon: I know, you've loved him since the Dodgers left Brooklyn--
Sami: Huh?
Brandon: Huh??? I know for a fact that RoJohn raised you for most of your onscreen childhood, and that he and Isabella were always taking you and Eric to the park to play baseball. There's no way you could not know what that expression means even if it wasn't a perfectly common expression or in perfectly obvious context.
Sami:
(slapping hand to forehead) You're right! (Brandon grins.) And not only that, it doesn't make any sense for me just to gloat over Lucas dying. I should be slightly remorseful and have some cool flashbacks.

[Flashback: Lucas in his military school uniform.
Sami: General . . .]

[Flashback: Lucas figures out why Sami is acting strangely around Alan.
Sami: I tried . . . he was too strong for me . . .]

[Flashback: Sami and Lucas in the Titan photo lab.
Lucas: I'm doing this-- kissing you-- because I care about you and I wanna make love to you. But if it's too fast, I'll stop.
Sami: No, Lucas. I'm not afraid. Not with you.]

[Flashback: Lucas and Sami scheming.
Lucas: You never cease to amaze me, Sami.]

[Flashback: Sami has just been run over by Austin.
Lucas: They say we're bad people, but we both know what it feels like to be alone. Except I don't feel alone when I'm with you, Sami. Please don't die . . .]

MEANWHILE, Alice and Jennifer are at the Horton Center.
Alice: I love baby-sitting Abby. I would never get any airtime if I didn't have great-grandchildren to look after. Plus, the new actress who plays her is actually pretty good.
Jennifer: Speaking, of Abby, you'll never guess what her father wants us to do.
Alice: live together even though the two of you aren't involved?
Jennifer: How did you guess?
Alice: It's what you did the last time you were in Salem.

MEANWHILE, Lucas is at the hospital.
Craig: Medical miracles happen every day. I fact, more often than not when you see someone wrapped up in bandages like this, when the bandages come off the person has been recast.

MEANWHILE, Philip Tork and Chlolita awake in the stables.
Philip: Nothing like sleeping in the barn with your girlfriend as your house burns down, your half-brother burns up, your supposedly dead father tortures your mother, and your girlfriend's parents argue over whether or not you raped her.
Chlolita: Yeah. So much happened last night. No wonder the day lasted about a month in real time.
Victor:
(arrives) Chlolita, I was wrong. You were right. This thing with Kate, Lucas, Franco's murder, the massacre in Paris, and my faked death is all about you.
Chlolita: Thank you for noticing.
Victor: Oh, and Lucas is dying.
Philip: I have to see him! Even though I've seen him maybe once since I could talk!
Victor: And Chlolita, I don't think any less of you after what I saw. I remember being sixteen and thinking I was twenty-five.
Chlolita: No, we think we're twenty and twenty-two, since that's what the actors playing us are. You, on the other hand, are like Faust.
Victor: You think I'd sell my soul to the devil?
Chlolita: Aren't you a mob boss in your spare time?
Victor: Oh yeah. You know, I see why Philip is so attracted to you.
You know, I'm doing my stepson's ex. I wouldn't mind doing you, too.
Chlolita: Sorry, I have to go seduce my stepfather to get at my mother.
(She leaves and Philip sings, to the tune of "Mary, Mary")

Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?
Chloe, Chloe, can I go too?
In the barn I will meet ya,
My house can burn while we eat pizza.
Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?

Chloe, Chloe, tell me truly
What can I do to make you love me?
Whatever it is, that I will do.
You can even say I tried to rape you.
Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?

What more, Chloe, can I do
To prove my love is truly yours?
I've done more now than a brain-endowed man would do.

Chloe, Chloe, it's not over.
'Cept for Lucas, my dead brother.
'Til I tick you off again
By doing nothing
But until then:
Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?

Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?
Chloe, where you goin' to?
Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, where you goin' to?

End of Show

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