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Thursday, March 15, 2001

Hi, everyone! I had no idea there was so much overlap between Days watchers and Monkees fans. :-) Thank you to 3Marlenas, Skaldorn, and ArizWldCat for Philip's song of the day. To those who were wondering, no, I wasn't born yet when the Monkees were first invented, but I did at one point in my wasted youth own most of their albums. On vinyl, no less. To those (others) who were wondering, "The Monkees" was a television show (1966?) about a rock band. The pretend band became a real band. My trusty internet TV listings inform me that they'll be on VH1's "Behind the Music" at 6:30 tonight. Go enlighten yourselves.

Bwady comes home to Belle.
Bwady: Thank me! Despite the fact that I call myself "crippled" and am on crutches, I managed to pry a window apart from the outside and help your friend Chloe run away.
Belle: But you hate all my friends. Not that they aren't well worth hating, but it's the principle of the thing.
Bwady: At least I wasn't the one who raped Chloe.
Belle: What?
Bwady: Nothing. I'd never say anything. I'm the soul of discretion.
Belle: Her parents are worried! They wanted her to stay there. Now she could be in danger.
Bwady: She was in more danger there. They were probably going to use a speculum on her.

MEANWHILE, their parents are at dinner.
John: I know I own a zillion companies that I don't bother to run, but let's talk about the new one I'm starting so the teens will have something to do.
Marlena: Okay.
(arriving) You're so sweet. It's like you're on your honeymoon.
Marlena: It quite obviously isn't our honeymoon. If it were, John would be nailing Hope on a submarine.

MEANWHILE, Celeste visits Lexie.

Lexie: You wouldn't understand what's going on.
Celeste. You're right. I know nothing about having a baby and being mixed up in Stefano's criminal activities at the same time.

MEANWHILE, Bo and Hope are at home.

Hope: At least no one can take JT from us.
Bo: Nope. Because it's not like he isn't our biological son and Isaac is.

MEANWHILE, Philip finds Chloe.
Philip: I--
Chloe: Sure. Make your father's fake death and my fake accusation of rape against you about you.
Philip: But this is horrible. My Mom never really loved my Dad.
(compassionate) That's not true. There have just been four or five headwriters since she did.
Philip: But don't you understand that I couldn't betray my father? Then he might murder me or get me thrown in jail, too . . .
Chloe: I wish I could say I love you. But-
Philip: It's the Peter Tork thing again, isn't it?
(sings, to the tune of "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone")

I I I I I'm not a Peter clone.
I I I I I'm not a Peter clone.
That Zebra's trying to pad her synopses
Saying that Peter Tork looks just like me.
In a way you could say that it's just as well.
She's too busy with this to keep killing Belle.

I said
I I I I I'm not a Peter clone
I I I I I'm not a Peter clone
Not a Peter clone,
Not a Peter clone.

When I first met you, Chlo, you always dressed in black.
Now you've gotten down the slutty dressing knack.
I say I love you, you stab me in the back
And you even flirt with psycho Bwady Bwack.

I said
I I I I I'm not a Peter clone
I I I I I'm not a Peter clone
Not a Peter clone,
Not a Peter clone.

Chloe: (shaking her head) Sorry. You still look like him. Where did Bwady go?

End of Show

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