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Friday, March 09, 2001

Friday's Synopsis. Subject to tax in Pennsylvania. Lines of the day go to my guy Lucas, who has suddenly recovered his personality:
"You slap me all the time!" "I'm sick of whining!" and "Oh, shut up (Mom)!"

Craig and Nancy bring Chloe home.
Craig: Nancy, keep your voice down. If you don't shout, people in the back seat can't hear what people in the front seat are saying. But we'll make sure
Philip goes to prison. We'll see how HE likes being raped.
Nancy: Days doesn't acknowledge that men can be raped. Look at Austin and John.
Craig: Oh yeah.

MEANWHILE, Victor and Nicole await the outcome of "Will's Custody, round five million."
Victor: I used to think that all you cared about was money, but now you're a good friend to me, who happens to have a lot of money.
Nicole: I'm more than your friend. I'm also your whore.

MEANWHILE, at "Will's Custody, round five million."
Kate: This isn't easy for me. I'm never gonna see my grandson again-- would it help if I reminded you how quickly I got over not seeing Austin and Billie when they were babies?
Lucas: I don't trust you. I'm running away from home all by myself.
Henderson! Help me run away!
Kate: If you run away, you'll destroy this family without giving a damn! That would be like alienating one son by letting him catch you in bed with a man not his father, another by framing the woman he thinks he loves for murder, and then telling the third to give up his own child forever just to keep yourself from going to jail for a crime you did commit! Lucas, I gave you everything, spoiled you rotten, lived your life for you, emotionally manipulated you-- why aren't you grateful? What happened?
Lucas: What happened to you? You said you loved me!
Kate: That was waaaaay back when Deborah Adair played me.
Austin: Lucas isn't stupid.
Sami: True. Why the heck am I flirting with you instead of him?

MEANWHILE, Philip searches for Chloe.
Philip: I can be what Chloe wants me to be. This is a healthy relationship.
(sighs) But what I really want to be is the next Peter Tork!
(sings to the tune of "Pleasant Valley Sunday")

My brother Lucas at the house
Is trying hard to keep his kid
He pleads and cries and begs our Mom,
Who sold out to the highest bid . . .

Another Kiriakis Cri-si-is!
People scheming everywhere
My sister-in law just screwed my Dad
And no one seems to care.

My sister Billie's proud today
Because she's not in town.
My brother Austin's not too quick
But now he says Mom's going down . . .

Another Kiriakis Cri-si-is!
Here in Corday-created land.
Austin swears that he loves his rapist
And Mom doesn't understand.

Creature comfort goals
They only numb my soul and make it hard for me to see
My thoughts all seem to stray, to places far away
I need to find my girl Chloe-e-e-e-e-e-e . . .

Another Kiriakis Crisis.
People scheming everywhere.
Another Kiriakis Crisis
Here in Corday-created land.
Another Kiriakis Crisis . . .

End of Show

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.

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