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Monday, March 5, 2001

Here's what happened while NBC's crack team of meteorologists weren't agonizing over the inch of snow we got today...

Lexie and Stefano celebrate not being questioned about Marlo's body.
Lexie: The case is closed! Who knew the cops were incompetent?
Stefano: Everyone but you.
Lexie: Now let's go shopping.
Stefano: You aren't ashamed to be seen with me?
Lexie: Nope, I'm only ashamed to be seen with Abe. He kidnapped and tortured most of my friends, oh wait, that was you, will you buy me a present?

MEANWHILE, Victor has stolen one of Kate's infamous animal print outfits for Nicole.
Nicole: Victor! You've been shot, and you're faking your death, and you have all the money in the world, but you don't have a doctor on hand for when you start to choke and hyperventilate. That makes sense.

MEANWHILE, Philip and Chloe are in the barn.
Chloe: You've never had sex?
Philip: I was born in 1995.When would I have had time? Oh my gosh, you're asking me because you don't love me!
Chloe: Well, you've made it clear you'd do pretty much anything for me, so I've decided to spend my free time making eyes at Bwady, who viciously insults me every chance he gets, and who admits to trying to scare his mother out of his father's life. It's your smile, your dimples, that strand of hair on your forehead-- it just makes you look too much like Peter Tork for me to love you.

(Bwady, Jason, and Shawn-not-D arrive; they sing with Philip.)

P/B/J/SND: Here we come
Walking down the street
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet . . .

Hey, hey, we're the teen scene
And people say that we aren't too hot.
We're too busy whining
To have anything like a plot.

We're just going through high school
Though we all look like we're twenty-two.
Lucas and Sami blackmailed the town
But we've got nothing to do . . .

Hey, hey, we're the teen scene
But we don't fight crime like Frankie and Jenn.
So find your fast-forward button
'Cause tomorrow we'll be on again!

MEANWHILE, Sami and Lucas are at yet another custody meeting.
Lucas: Go to hell!
Sami: And spend eternity with you?
Lucas: Hey, I read a fanfic where that happened. It was called "Halloween, Schemes, and Murder" and it was over on samiandlucas.com.
Sami:
(rolling eyes) Must ClayZebra plug sites dedicated to the two of us every time she summarizes a scene we have together?
Lucas: Apparently. I hate how our fans keep harping on how we used to be friends. I wouldn't be able to believe I ever touched you if they didn't have the screen captures.
Brandon:
(interrupting) Any man would be lucky to touch Samantha.
Lucas: That's what I said at the time. It sounded better when I said it. But now I'm sick of Sami! I'm going to body slam you!
Sami: Which will be hard to do without touching me.
(Sami plays Roberto's tape.)
Kate:
(on tape) Lucas doesn't want the mother of his child to die. I hate how his Horton side shows up at the most unfortunate times. I never should have mated with one of them.
Lawyer: So how did Sami get such a good actress who impersonated Kate Roberts so well?
Sami: Well, not from a soap, I'll tell you that.

End of Show

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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