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Monday, February 5, 2001

Welcome to ClayZebra's "you think I'd miss the return of Jack-n-Jenn?" synopsis.

Philip interupts Nicole and Victor's breakfast.
(leaving) Philip, remember that if you need a woman, you can come on to me, I mean come to me, and then . . . whatever you want.
Philip: Dad, I saw Mom. She was naked.
(shrugging) Your mother naked doesn't do much for me, either.
Philip: She was snogging Moroni.
Victor: So? I snogged your skanky sister-in-law first. Get over it.

MEANWHILE, Kate and Monroni are also having breakfast.
Moroni: No parent wants to cause their child's pain. Excuse me while I go order someone to shoot the man with whom my daughter is passionately in love.

MEANWHILE, with the utterly uninteresting Sami and Brandon:
Sami: I won't get shot at the coronation. Nothing will happen.
Brandon: Samantha, your contract's up. You can't be too careful.

SPEAKING OF UNINTERESTING, Austin brings Greta breakfast.
Greta: What's this?
Austin: Finally, I've found someone who shares a level of intelligence with me.
(entering) Thanks to you, many more children will be instructed in the development of fake French accents.
Austin/Greta: Ain't we great?

MEANWHILE, Alice leaves the airport and Jennifer.
Cabdriver: Sorry, I'm the only cabbie in the world who refuses to speed.
Alice: Never mind. I'm Alice Horton! I can stop planes on runways! And then I'll call all over several continents on my cell phone because I have amazing powers!
(to phone) May I speak to Jack Deveraux?
Jack: Is this Mrs. Horton?
Alice: Whoa! Dozens of Salemites were talking to Jennifer on the phone for weeks without knowing her voice and you know mine right away?
(shrugging) I always was the smart hero. Except when I was the villain. And they're usually smart.
Alice: What are you doing in Rome?
Jack: Besides my mandatory shirtless-just-out-of-the-shower scene?

MEANWHILE, Jennifer is flying to Paris.
Jennifer: I don't care about Jack, but I'll daydream about him all trip.

[Jennifer: I look like a collie.
Jack: Lassie had a great career.]

Jennifer: But he wouldn't admit he loved me.

[Jack: I don't want you!!! That's why I'm kissing you!!!]

Jennifer: Finally, he did.

[Jack: I love you.
Jennifer: That's how you can tell this is a flashback. None of the couples currently doing it on Days much like each other, except Bozo and Hopeless.]

Jennifer: We were very happy.

[Jennifer: I'm pregnant.
Jack: Oh, so this is a flashback, too? Because you're having the child of the man you love who is also your husband?]

Jennifer: But I'll learn from my mistakes!
Random Person: And not choose an idiot like Peter Blake over Jack again?
(Jennifer arrives.)
Jennifer: Jack! Go away! I can't forgive you for Africa!
Jack: But I didn't go to Africa with you! That was one of those blond imitation Jacks!
Jennifer: There were a few other occasions too numerous to mention.
Jack: Few? Numerous? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Jennifer: YOU are the oxyMORON!
Jack: Just for that, I'm going to shoot Mimi and Bwady even though they aren't here!
Jennifer: My hero! Maybe I'll give you another chance after all.

End of Show

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.

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