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Monday, January 15, 2001

Lexie and Abe are at home.
Abe: I could contact Marlo.
Lexie: NO!!!!
Abe: That was not at all suspicious.

MEANWHILE, Roman has graduated from the School of Random Gestures and gone to meet Marlena.
Roman: Don't worry about Bwady. You know how teenagers are.
Marlena: Don't compare Bwady to Sami!! Bwady's father loved him, unlike Sami's loser father who abandoned her right after she'd been raped because he was mad at her mother. Bwady had a model childhood. If he wasn't happy, he put on a good act!
(nostalgically) Yeah, the Billings twins were really amazing actors for their age, weren't they? Remember when John was about to go to the gas chamber and Bwady was telling him he loved him and would take care of Belle . . .

MEANWHILE, at the DiMera Mansion:
Bart: Rolf made me hug Marlo's corpse! It gave new meaning to the word "gross!"
Stefano: And here I thought that's what the Garden of Eden story was for.
Bart: Marlo was already dead to her family, though. Bozos. No offense, Rolf.
Rolf: None taken. It iz my goal in life to be zuh bezt bozo Stevano ever had.
(Bart leaves)
Stefano: Bart is surprisingly valuable.
Rolf: When we first met him, wasn't he a hit man rather than comic relief?
Stefano: Well, yeah. Wipe your memory with one of your concoctions. It makes conversations like this make more sense. Or we could just focus on the fact that I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful son/grandson.
Rolf: Krizten and Elvis?
Stefano: No, you idiot. Lexie and Isaac. Easy mistake, though. Go get Hattie-you know what will happen if Marlena sees her.
Rolf: Yeah. She'll start having flashbacks to her dead sister again.

MEANWHILE, in France:
Greta: I feel so awed.
Austin: Of course you're odd. You ran around covering yourself with mud and answering to "Swamp Girl."
Greta: But now I'm a princess and I can make up for the harm my mother did. Not that it was her fault.
Austin: Of course not. Hope asked to have her life taken over, and Shawn-not-D threw himself off that ledge, and Marlena shot herself . . .
Woman: Well said, Austin. You and Greta are well-matched. Do you think you would have survived the Garden with Sami Brady?
Austin: Of course. It would have taken Sami five minutes to kick those gladiators' butts for me.
Woman: So you still love her?
Austin: Still? When did I ever love her?

MEANWHILE, Belle, Bwady, and Chloe are at the Penthouse.
Bwady: When I was born, I was so ugly that-
Belle: Shawn-not-D wondered if you should be sent back?
Bwady: No, of course not. I'm older than Shawn-not-D. Anyway, my Mom died and-
Belle: You spent most of your childhood living with me and MY Mom 'cause Dad was off screwing Kristen?
Bwady: No. Dad raised me on his own. The he married Marlena-
Belle: And you and I were thrilled, and we were the ring bearer and the flower girl, and we formalized the living arrangements we'd had for years?
Bwady: No. Marlena met me and didn't like me-
Chloe: You are an unbelievable jerk. You have absolutely no idea what happened to you before last summer, do you?
Continuity Police:
(arriving) We'd have to agree. (They shoot Bwady.) Belle: Oh my God. They killed Bwady. At least it wasn't me this time.

End of Show
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