|Friday, September 01, 2000
ClayZebra's synopsis ends it's fourth summer not with a whimper but with a bang, or a few.
Bo and Hope are home.
Hope: We need to have another baby. When Little John is ready for school, Shawn-not-Douglas will be through college.
Bo: Not if they keep de-aging him. Maybe by the time Little John is ready for school, Shawn-not-Douglas will be his younger brother.
Hope: Brady, don't turn down sex. Just get behind this conveniently placed potted plant and strip.
MEANWHILE, at the diner.
Bart: I'll make it perfectly obvious to everyone in the room that I'm talking to someone on a wire because I'm such a darn good henchman. Stefano can afford the best, you know. Hey, Hattie, you look like Marlena!
Hattie: Why would I want to look like her?
Bart: So you can take over her life.
Hattie: Yeah. She's mean, mean, mean. She deserves it.
Abe: Remember that night we spent together?
Fay: Yeah. Isn't it funny that my son looks more like you than like his father?
Abe: I hadn't noticed.
Fay: You're the only one.
MEANWHILE, in Italy, Lucas is spying on Brandon and Sami.
Lucas: (derisively) King Stud. Musclehead. Loverboy. Machoman.
Sami: It's nice to see you've gone back to insulting my love interests, but none of those is really up to "Italian Stallion."
Lucas: You're drugged out. You can't see me.
Brandon: Yeah, Lucas isn't a foot away from us. Lucas doesn't have blond hair.
(Lucas calls Kate and leaves when Brandon does.)
Kate: Now all I have to do is show Sami this "Will doll" and she'll go insane!
(However, the Will doll runs away to play with Chucky from "Child's Play" and Kate has to find a new plan.)
MEANWHILE, the teens are on a double date.
Chloe: I can't believe you think the Yankees are the greatest team ever!
Belle: I can't believe that with John Black for a father I don't know at least a little bit about baseball!
Mimi: (arriving) Are you guys on a double date?
Belle/Chloe/Philip/Shawn-not-Douglas: Yeah! Go away! (They pull out the movie theater's complimentary handguns and shoot her to death.)
Belle: Chloe, I don't like it that you flirt with Shawn, especially since you had to change your personality 180 degrees to do it.
Chloe: I agree. Since I have no distinct personality anymore, I deserve to be shot.
Shawn: Shoot me, too. What happened to my rebel thing? What happened to me being older than the rest of you?
Belle: Now that I think about it, I started out as a Sami clone. We've all been around less than a year and already we're doing radical personality shifts?
Philip: Let's make a suicide pact.
BANG BANG BANG BANG!
End of Show
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