|Monday, August 28, 2000
It's the last week of synopses for the summer (any special requests?). My Dad gets the line of the day again: "This guy tried out for the Sopranos and didn't make it?" Today's award for stating the obvious goes to the oh-so-briefly non-delusional Lucas for "This doesn't make sense." Greta gets bonus points for everything she said.
Lexie and Hope and Isaac and Little John (and Robin Hood and Friar Tuck) are at the doctor's office, but not much happens.
MEANWHILE, Bo and Abe are at the Cop Shop.
Bo: Well, I don't feel comfortable telling Hope about her son's parentage, but I'll tell you all about it!
Abe: Go on.
Bo: Hope feels that our connection is so strong that she could never make love to anyone else no matter who was writing the show.
(They meet up with their wives and begin to dance.)
Bo: Shall we?
Hope: We already are, idiot.
MEANWHILE, sadly, Italian Guy decides not to shoot Brandon. Italian Guy was jealous because Sami was showing more cleavage than Italian Chick has, or possibly because Sami can put her hair in an elaborate braid-and-knot style while living in a cabin in the woods.
Sami: Brandon, you lie very well. I have no experience with such things. How will I know when to believe you?
Brandon: We'll work it out. Now I'm going to flirt with Italian Chick.
Sami: Do you have a death wish?
Brandon: One can only hope. (leaves)
Sami: (to herself) Brandon is putting his life on the line for me. Too bad I don't have a man back in Salem with whom I've been obsessed since age fifteen who's put his life on the line for me lots of times.
MEANWHILE, elsewhere in Italy:
Victor: I used to think Lucas was a nice kid, but then he developed this whole conscience thing.
Kate: (disgusted) I don't know where he inherited it from.
Victor: But now we're going to use him to poison Sami, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Why would killing his son's mother come back to haunt him?
(Victor leaves, and Kate calls Lucas.)
Lucas: (on phone) Yes, I have the disguise, but why do I need it? No one from Salem recognizes anyone else from Salem if they're wearing sunglasses or a baseball cap.
Kate: (on phone) Good. I'm off to get Victor to sign some more papers without reading them. That's how he got to be the head of a big company, you know.
MEANWHILE, back with Lucas and the rest of his current love polygon:
Greta: Lucas, Eric is not stalking Nicole.
Lucas: That makes too much sense. It can't be true. (leaves)
Nicole: Ha ha, Greta. I'm strong, you're weak. I can tell you're weak because you used to wrestle alligators in the swamp.
Greta: Well, I was mad at the alligator because it ate Eric's little sister.
Nicole: Oh my God! It ate Belle? The bastard!
End of Show
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