May 17, 2000
Welcome to Wednesdayís Synopsis! Feel superior to fictional characters who wouldnít get a clue if it bit them on the nose and, best of all, learn just why it is that Belle comes back to life very time we kill her.
Eric barges into Gretaís apartment.
Eric: I just wanna be with you. Or Nicole. Or anything in a dress, really.
Greta: Iím glad youíre here, but what made you decide to come over so late?
Eric: Nicole ran off before we could find a bed, and also, thereís no other place I would rather be except possibly a house of prostitution. (looking at clock) Itís getting late, Iíd better go.
Eric: You arenít gonna stop me?
Greta: Bye. (Eric leaves, then comes back in)
Eric: Youíre SURE I canít get you into bed tonight?
MEANWHILE, at the DiMera Mansion:
Rolf: Youíre pregnant, Marlo. Arenít you tired?
Marlo: Only of the baby-switch plot. Didnít we just do one of these?
Stefano: Rolf, stop fussing over Marlo. Go spy on Bo and Hope. Wear a baseball hat or a pair of sunglasses and they wonít recognize you. And find out exactly when Hopeís baby will be born.
Rolf: Why do the babies have to be born at exactly the same time?
Stefano: You can invent curling irons that wipe peoplesí memories and virtual reality goggles that let John touch Marlena when she was in Paris and he was in Salem but you canít figure THIS out?!?!
MEANWHILE, Bo and Hope and Lexie and Abe are at Jack and Jenniferís house.
Lexie: Abe, Hope can forgive Stefano and he hurt her more than anyone.
Abe: (cough) Marlena (cough) brainwashed husband switch (cough) five years in a coma (cough) kidnapped twins (cough) Paris birdcage (cough) Belleís baptism (cough) Maison Blanche (cough).
Lexie: Anyway, he never directly hurt you.
Abe: Gee, youíre right. That makes everything he did to the Bradys and the Blacks not to mention the Hortons irrelevant.
Lexie: Is it a problem for you that Iím related to Stefano?
Abe: No, but I remember the good old days when it was a problem for you.
MEANWHILE, Doug and Julie throw a body bag into their trunk.
Julie: I feel like weíre hardened criminals.
Doug: Yeah, youíd think we were the kind of people who originally got together because I was paid to have an affair with you by the woman whose love interest you stole out of spite.
Julie: At least husbands and wives canít testify against each other.
Doug: The two lawyers watching the show with ClayZebra are currently screaming at the television that they can and frequently can be forced to.
MEANWHILE, Nicole returns home.
Lucas: Do you know what time it is?
Nicole: Time to make the doughnuts?
Lucas: You are not my grandmother. Youíre my wife. Where were you?
Nicole: At work. Donít you believe me, since we work at the same place and youíre high enough up the corporate ladder that you probably know everything I do there?
Lucas: Actually, I donít believe you.
Nicole: I ran over Belle and I had to change the tire. Go check if you must.
Lucas: Oh my God! You killed Belle? You bastard!
(Lucas goes to check, and sure enough, there is a squished Belle wrapped around Nicoleís tire.)
Lucas: Nicole was telling the truth. (Starts to leave, then returns.) Hey!
You come back to life in every show! Why is that? It canít be, unless . . . youíre a toon!
Belle: (rising from the tire) Thatís right, Lucas. Iím a toon. And I talked in a high, squeaky voice just like this the night I killed your brother!
Lucas: You killed my brother? COOL! Which one? Austin?
End of Show
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