Tuesday, March 07, 2000

Here it is, Tuesday's Synopsis.

Sami and Austin are on their way home from the Green Mountain Lodge.
Sami: I feel like a teenager. Carefree. And more importantly, Carrie-free.
Austin: It's so great that you only had to chase me for seven years and do things to your own sister that would make Nicole blush to get me.
Sami: I still have nightmares about the kind of person I used to be. I'm so afraid I'll develop a personality again.

MEANWHILE, at the Kiriakis Mansion.
Nicole: Henderson, teach Lucas how to make a martini. That's something I ought to make my recovering alcoholic husband do, right? He does do everything I want, just like a puppy dog. I really wish he'd go back into slightly-grown-up-obnoxious-preppy-brat mode, but he lost his personality at the same time Sami lost hers.
Henderson: Further evidence that they're soul mates.
Nicole: ClayZebra, no one said anything like that. Get back to synopsizing!
(pouting) Okay, okay. Fay comes in.
Nicole: Mom, don't come to see me wearing clothes like that ever again.
Fay: They're better than what you usually wear.
Nicole: What isn't?
(she sees Sami and Austin) Yuck.
ClayZebra: My thoughts exactly.
Sami: Nicole, your behavior is disgusting.
Fay: She's had a hard life.
Sami: That's no excuse, except for me.
(seeing Fay's child-rearing books) Nicole isn't gonna have a baby, is she? Because no one should have Lucas' children but me! I'm sorry, Mrs. Walker. I just don't like Nicole. I can't imagine that Brandon and Nicole are from the same parents, especially since you and Nicole and Nicole's father all have very fair skin and Brandon is quite obviously racially mixed and oddly obsessed, can't imagine why, with the African American police chief that you spent a lot of time with around the time Brandon was conceived.

MEANWHILE, Bo continues castle-storming.
Kurt: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. It's generally considered polite to hold people prisoner against their will, right?

MEANWHILE, on the island:
Julie: In a remarkable coincidence, there are mangos, papayas, bananas, passion fruits, and coconuts growing on the island.
Alice: And in another remarkable coincidence, this island has electricity so I could plug in my doughnut maker.
Doug: Hey, why don't we all just go have breakfast in the hotel on the other side of the island? The one I ran the extension cord from?
Julie: No, that would be too easy.
Mimi: Besides, this is romantic! Shawn, don't you think it's great fun to be stranded on an island while your mother may be lying somewhere dying?
Shawn-not-Douglas: Oddly enough, no.
Lili: Well, I agree with Mimi. We just need entertainment, so I'll sing!

Bad times and worse times
I've seen them all and, my dear,
I'm still here.
Held captive sometimes.
Sometimes made Steffy feel fear,
And I'm here.
Magic surgery
On my face
Let me quickly
Take Hope's place
And made Steffy disappear
But I'm here.
I slept with Bozo
And he couldn't tell
And I'm here.
My act was so-so
Got caught by Shawn and Belle
But I'm here.
Threw Shawn of the balcony
Then shot Doc
Then Bo shot me
Death: a lock.
In death did I stay away?
Nowhere near!
Floated in the water clear
And I'm here.

Greta: That reminds me of my mother.
Eric: I can't imagine why.
Lili: Now Shawn can sing, and his backup that is most definitely not keyboard music can come out of nowhere.
(Shawn-not-Douglas does sing.)
Mimi: I wanna sing now! Belle, let's sing the theme from Gilligan's Island!
Belle: We can't! ClayZebra has never seen it so she can't improve on the jokes we'll be making. Let's do something from a show she does watch, like ER!
Mimi: Okay, I'll be the surgeon and you be Kellie Martin's character.
(Belle lies down, Mimi gets into character.) Whoops, couldn't save you. Damn. (Pulls blanket over Belle's head. Belle doesn't get up when the audience starts applauding. Mimi accidentally smothered her with the blanket.)
Oh my God. You killed Belle. You bastard.

End of Show

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