Friday, March 03, 2000

Welcome to the first synopsis of the post-Viv-and-Ivan era. Sigh.

Since we left our heroes, we have missed such scintillating events as Belle dumping a bowl of ice cream over Philip's head and Nikki singing "This is the way we wash our hair" to Kate. Despite the fact that Salem realized Hope wasn't dead in mid-January, they still haven't managed to rescue her, although they did get on a plane, where the pilots passed out. John grabbed Bo and said
"Bo, Bo, there's a problem in the cockpit." "The cockpit?" answered Bo. "What is it?" "It's a room up in front of the plane where the pilot sits. But that's not important right now." Then he told Eric and Shawn-not-Douglas that they had to open Gina's casket. "The casket? What is it?" "It's a box you stick dead people in, but that's not important right now." The plane did crash, but sadly, neither Belle nor Mimi drowned.

Chloe is fantasizing about how nice it will be when she starts wearing clothes that aren't black and makeup and styled hair, thus looking exactly like Belle.
Nancy: You've been crying. I know because I'm your mother.
Chloe: Either that or you can see the tears on my face since you're looking straight at me.

MEANWHILE, Nicole also spends time with her mom, Fay.
Fay: Victor is such a nice man, if you don't take the fact that he's a crime boss into consideration.
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. Where's your booze?
Fay: I don't drink. It's bad for you, Nicky. That's why I have it in the first place.
Nicole: You'll like it. It's like the hot lemonade you made for Brandon and me but apparently not Taylor when we were kids and we were sick. I mean, a different kind of sick than we are now.
Fay: Are you and Lucas planning on having a family?
Nicole: I want a family. Almost as much as I want a hole in the head.
Fay: Good. I wish you a happy marriage-till death do you part.
Nicole:
(thinking) There's an idea. Now, how to knock off Lucas . . .

MEANWHILE, Abe is home with Lexie.
Abe: I didn't mean to blame you for helping Brandon set me up just because you helped Brandon set me up. So, to say I'm sorry, here are some daffodils I picked. I can't walk past daffodils without thinking of you.
(The phone rings; it's Roman.)
Roman: Although it's the middle of the night, it's time for a police meeting,
so get down here. You could lose your job for just picking someone's daffodils like that. It's theft, you know.

MEANWHILE, Brandon is with his lawyer, Benny.
Brandon: I can't believe Abe treated me like a common criminal when all I did was beat someone senseless and refuse to get counseling after I promised to even though I work in the hospital.
Benny: Well, let's frame Abe and make him suffer.
Lexie:
(arriving) Abe was right! You are out to get him!
Brandon: No, Benny was just saying we should get a photo of Abe framed for a present for you, and he would suffer because he didn't think of getting such a wonderful gift for you himself.
Lexie: Oh. You're so sweet, Brandon.

MEANWHILE, Eric and Greta are in a lagoon on the island.
Greta: I want to see the world with you.
Eric: Let's go!
Greta: But our plane crashed, and we're stranded here.
Eric: Let's make out, then.
Greta: I'm sorry my mother's body is gone.
(Eric pulls a dictionary out of his swim trunks so he can look up "foreshadowing." ) She won't even have a grave, because no one ever just puts up a monument for someone whose body was lost. Still, you make me feel like I've never felt before and want things I've never wanted before.
Eric: I'm flattered. So you like me better than the alligators in the swamp?
(Before she can answer, Gina's body floats to the surface of the lagoon, and Greta screams. Soon, Belle's body also floats to the surface.)
Eric: Oh my God! They killed Belle. The bastards.

End of show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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