Friday, January 14, 2000

Okay, school starts again on Monday, so this is the last synopsis for awhile. You'll have to kill Belle for yourselves if you're so inclined. Thanks for reading.

Austin and Nicole are talking.
Austin: I have something precious in my life that I'll never lose.
Nicole: Desperate Sami who gave me my first non-waitressing job hanging all over you? She's pathetic, slipping condoms into her ex-boyfriend's lunch to scare his current girlfriend.
Austin: That was you.
Nicole: Oh yeah.
Austin: You just need hope.
Nicole: Why? All she ever does in whine about how Shawn-D and Bo are in danger.

MEANWHILE, Sami and Brandon are ice skating.
Brandon: I used to think you were just another gorgeous blonde, but now I realize that you're capable of amazing feats of blackmail and lying.
Sami: Is that the first time you used that line?
Brandon: Yeah.
Sami: Well, in Salem, we like to use the same lines over and over. Like "She will never take Austin from me. Never."
Brandon: Thanks for your help. You're very helpful, and I want us to be good friends and tell each other everything, except I don't have to tell you anything.

OVERVOICE:
We will return for the second half of Days of Our Lives in just a moment.

Announcer: Use Zyban to help you quit smoking. Zyban may cause side effects and should not be inhaled, touched, or looked at. Most common side effects are dizziness, slurred speech, nausea, cramping, loss of memory, itching, migraines, hyperventilation, choking, and ear and throat infections. But it can help you beat your nicotine addiction!

Woman: Slim Fast gave me a new, better body.
Man: Wait, that was Stefano.
Woman: Stefano owns Slim Fast. So buy it or he'll come and get you.

MEANWHILE, Gina is still dying.
Shawn-not-Douglas: Mom will pull through this. Things like this just don't
happen.
Bo: What do you mean? You've been to two other funerals for your mother.
Shawn-not-Douglas: Take me to her.
(Bo does.) Mom, I'm sorry. I just wanted things to be the way they were. I'm not sure how I remember the way things were because I was a really little kid the first time you died and after you came back you and Dad never actually managed to get married until yesterday.
Greta:
(entering) Sorry, I thought you were alone despite the fact that the door I just walked through is made of glass.
Gina: Greta, I will tell you who your father is.
Greta: I don't believe you're my mother, and I won't pretend that I do just because you're dying. That's just the kind of nice girl I am.
(and nearby)
Belle: What is Shawn-not-Douglas gonna do?
Roman: Just a wild guess here, but the same thing he did the last two times she died?
Belle: Why is he so sensitive sometimes and such a jerk sometimes?
Roman: He's a GUY! We're jerks. But I'm sure he'd be completely reformed if you bought him an action figure and named it "Tough Guy."
(Belle does, but accidentally chokes on the "movable parts." She is only six years old, you know.)
Roman: Oh my God. I killed Belle. I'm a bastard. But what do I expect? I'm a guy.

End of Show

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