Monday, January 10, 2000

Ooo, so many great candidates for line of the day today. There's Belle asking Marlena if she's feeling better moments after watching Gina attempt to kill her "son" and being shot herself; there's Bo saying that everyone knew Hope hadn't been herself lately; there's Hope asking Stefano how he can master mind control but not Morse code. But best of all was Bo's anguished "it WON'T end." Was he talking about the Princess Gina story? I think we all agree.

As always, we start with our still-locked-up Steffy and Hope.
Hope: If you can perform complex mind control, why can't you fix the radio?
Stefano: First of all, the minds in question are anything but complex-
Kurt:
(interrupting) Is there anything you need?
Hope: A telephone and maybe some dynamite, and how about the key to this room?
Kurt: Sure, right away.

MEANWHILE, Nancy is still recovering.
Chloe: I thought you musta changed your mind about having me around by now.
Nancy: It's been about two hours Salem time since I made you promise not to leave. But that was an easy mistake since it's been about two weeks real time.
Chloe: No, I understand Salem time. But I've heard that Bo has changed his mind about who his true soul mate is in less than two hours.

MEANWHILE, the wedding aftermath continues.
Belle: Shawn-not-Douglas!! Don't move!!
Roman: I think he's just trying to roll away from her voice.
John: Then I guess I should climb down there and get him. Grab my wrist,
Roman.
Roman: One slip of the wrist and Duck is mine.
Belle: Daddy, please don't go down there.
John: Don't worry, I'm a super hero.
(Strips out of his tux to reveal spandex and a cape, and gets to Shawn-not-Douglas.)
Roman: John, are you okay?
Abe: John, are you okay?
Belle: Dad, is Shawn-not-Douglas okay? Not that I care. YOU HEAR THAT, SHAWN-NOT-DOUGLAS?! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE OKAY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I ASKED ABOUT YOU WHEN EVERYONE ELSE WAS ASKING ABOUT MY DAD!
John: We're both okay, but he's freezing. Belle, you're his love interest, so you have to come down here and strip so you can keep him warm with your body heat.
Paramedics: She's kind of underage, so why don't you just let us bring him up?
(All run inside, trying not to trip on John's cape.)
Belle: Shawn fell off the ledge!
Shawn: Oh my God! I did?
Eric: Not you. You're too old to have a plot. She means Shawn-not-Douglas.
Shawn: Oh. The name-stealing bastard can die for all I care.
(pauses) Did I say that out loud?
Belle: Never mind. Mom, I know you've just been shot and all, but are you
feeling better? And other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
Abe: Stefano is the one responsible for everything that happened tonight!
Roman: Not to mention every other night.

SO, everyone adjourns to the hospital.
Doug: All we can do is pray, but Bo, can you help me understand what happened?
Bo: You're right that all we can do is pray, but I think you're asking the
wrong person about the understanding thing. We all knew that Hope wasn't herself.
Doug: If we all knew that, why didn't we call of the wedding? Oh, wait, some of us tried! But now all we can do is pray.
Craig:
(arriving) Where's Hope? Dr. Carver is assisting, despite that big
lecture she gave me the other day about not operating on someone you're close to. All the rest of you can do is pray.
(leaves)
Bo: All I can do is pray, and have flashbacks.
Hope:
(in flashback) Where do we go from here?
Bo:
(in flashback) Pretty much downhill. (present) It just WON'T end. This Hope-Gina thing has been going on since 1994! All I can do is pray.
Belle:
(watching) Shouldn't he know that his son is in danger?
Shawn: No! I certainly wouldn't want to know if any of my children were in danger.
(snickering) Maybe he'll just forget about him. I'll get my name back yet.
(Belle leaves and slips into the room where Shawn-not-Douglas is being
operated on, assuming that the doctors will be perfectly happy to have a
fifteen-year-old in a formal dress standing there gawking as they work.
However, the doctors notice her. One grabs each arm and one grabs each leg. They accidentally draw and quarter her as they're throwing her out in the hall.)

Shawn: Oh my God! They killed Belle. The bastards.

End of Show
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