Friday, January 07, 2000

Welcome to Friday's Synopsis. Rest assured that I will be killing Belle every day for the rest of my term break, or for as long as most of you think it's funny, whichever comes first. And for those of you who think I'm being mean, may I remind you that, since Belle comes back to life every day, she's only mostly dead? And mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, with all dead, there's usually only one thing you can do. Go through her pockets and look for loose change.
(If you're gonna steal, steal from the best. Or from South Park.) One more note: Belle is fictional. So I do not feel guilty about killing her. I'm not suggesting that anyone kill the actress who portrays Belle. So no one needs to send me another e-mail about this. (Unless of course it's e-mail telling me how funny this is.) So enjoy. And don't feel guilty for laughing every time Belle dies. It's a joke!!

Our show begins with Hope and Steffy.
Hope: I sense a feeling of evil.
Stefano: Celeste, how did you find me? Oh, it's you, you IDIOT!
Hope:
(hysterical) Shawn-Douglas fell from someplace very high! He's hurt, he's dying!
Stefano: Calm down or I will tie you to a chair!
Hope:
(calm) Oh, goody! Then I'll be rescued in no time! Women tied to chairs are always rescued by their love interests.

MEANWHILE, none of the Salem teens have a curfew, so they're all at the cyber café. And guess which part of the internet their computers are logged on to?
Mimi: Chloe, you are so ugly that you should be shot so the rest of us
wouldn't have to look at you.
Chloe: Don't bother me. I'm trying to read the latest episode of the Days of David's life.
Mimi: Oh my God! I refuse to believe that Ginrak is Tracey's soulmate. She belongs with Mike!
Chloe: I know. Hey, how are Barb's octuplets doing?
Philip: Mimi? How is this going to help us break up Belle and
Shawn-not-Douglas?
Mimi: Who needs 'em? We've got the internet!

MEANWHILE, none of the Salem teens have a curfew, so they're all at the cyber café. And guess which part of the internet their computers are logged on to?
Mimi: Chloe, you are so ugly that you should be shot so the rest of us
wouldn't have to look at you.
Chloe: Don't bother me. I'm trying to read Jaycee's week in review.
Mimi: What? Hey, you mean Hope is locked up and the person we think is Hope is Gina?
Philip: Hey! This information could help us break up Belle and
Shawn-not-Douglas.
Mimi: All right! Thanks, Chloe.

MEANWHILE, the wedding has become a bloodbath.
Lexie: Abe, you have to help me find Stefano.
Abe: Okay. You know I can always track down Stefano whenever I want to. That's why I'm such a great chief of police.
(nearby)
Alice: Hope made a call from your cell phone and whoever answered called her "princess." My question is, whassupwithat?
Lili: I knew that Belle and her boyfriend were criminals!
Alice: They are not! They're the best teenagers in Salem. Not that there's a lot of competition.
Belle: And more importantly than you not having me arrested,
SHAWN-NOT-DOUGLAS IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!
(and up on the terrace, John and Bo have discovered Gina and Marlena)
John: Let's talk about this.
Gina: Talk, talk, talk. All you and Marlena ever want to do is talk.
John: No. We also like to have sex.
Gina: Just for that, I'm going to shoot Marlena!
(She does, and Bo shoots Gina in the ensuing struggle. Bo and John carry
their wives into the reception hall.)

Marlena: Terrace. Terrace.
Belle: What's that, Mom?
Marlena: Fell.
Eric: You want us to follow you? Someone fell down a well? Or off the terrace?
Marlena: Shawn-not-Douglas.
Belle: YOU think I'm his girlfriend, too? I'll show you "fell off the
terrace!"
(She jumps.)
John: Oh my God. You killed Belle! You bastard!
(As he looks over the ledge, he sees Shawn-not-Douglas lying unconscious.)
John: Oh. That's what you meant, Doc.
Marlena: Well, duh. Should I have drawn you a picture?
John: It would have helped, yeah.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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