Wednesday, January 05, 2000

Welcome to Wednesday's Synopsis! Care to find out how Belle dies today? Read on.

The show begins, of course, with Stefano and Hope.
Hope: My wedding to Bo. Why am I thinking about that now?
Stefano: It's the only think you EVER think about, you IDIOT!
Hope:
(oblivious) We were joined heart and body and soul and mind.
Stefano: And here I was under the impression that if minds were going to be joined, both parties had to start out with one.

MEANWHILE, they are celebrating the millenium (a year early, incidentally) at the Tuscany.
Nicole: I love seeing people in love, not that I would know how that looks
because no couples in Salem ever seem to be in love while they're together. Still, I wish we could have gone to Victor's son's wedding. Which is also the wedding of Lucas's first cousin. And the wedding of Lucas's son's great uncle. And the wedding of Kate's son's half brother, and the wedding of Vivian's nephew's honorary brother, and the wedding of Nikki's cousin's
(Brady Black) uncle, who was almost Nikki's stepfather. So we should all be there instead of here. Wait, Philip isn't here or there. Why?
Victor: He's a servant now. He's working. I make all of my servants work at midnight on New Year's, you see.
Nicole:
(pouting) Lucas, everyone is so mean. They say I only have a job
because I'm your wife.
Lucas: Don't be silly. It's also because you're blackmailing my mother.
Nicole: You don't sound excited. Everyone is having fun but you. Victor is
worrying about how he thinks he can't please Kate in bed, Kate is worrying about how close Victor seems to Vivian, Vivian is worrying about how close Victor seems to Kate, Nikki is worrying about how he hasn't gotten Kate into bed yet, I'm worrying about how I took money to marry you, Ivan is worrying about how Vivian will never love him, and Celeste is worrying about how her vibes say Stefano is stuck somewhere and out of control.
Lucas: Are you drunk?
Nicole: Me? No.
Lucas: Okay. No one should expect me to be able to recognize the signs.
Nikki:
(returning to the table) Victor, thanks for letting me dance with Kate.
Victor: My pleasure. Say, want to screw her as well?
Nikki: Sure!
(Sex on the table ensues, but no one notices because they are watching as Nicole and Celeste fight over Celeste's hat.)
Nicole: Winner gets Ivan!
Celeste: You're on!
Ivan: Hey, wait a second . . .

MEANWHILE, most of the rest of Salem is at the wedding.
Doug: Hope seems uncaring.
Julie: That's not true. She cares about many things. She cares about money, and princessy clothes, and Lili, and Greta, and getting Shawn-not-Douglas and Marlena out of the way.
Gina: And I care that I'm finally a married lady!
Greta: A married something, anyway. You do realize that when the truth comes out, I'll have to give up Eric?
Gina: You will not, Greta, because he will dump you. And if you detest me so much, you can go tell Eric the truth right now and he probably would be grateful. But I think that that approach would make too much sense for any daughter of mine.
Bo:
(approaching) There you are, Hope. Who were you on the phone with just now? All of our friends and family are here except for both of my sisters and their children and Roman's daughters and John's son and my biological father and his family and two of your uncles and one of your aunts and every one of your first cousins and their children and your half brother.
Belle:
(watching) Shawn-not-Douglas, didn't your Mom and Dad just get
married? Can't you pretend to be happy? What's bothering you? Is it the same thing that's been bothering you ever since you came back to Salem that you've told me about repeatedly? Why are we spying on your parents? Have you seen anything?
Shawn-not-Douglas:
(watching) Yeah. You're not gonna believe what happened. "Mom" used a cell phone!
Belle:
(watching) Wow, that's shocking, isn't it? Have you ever heard of
anyone using a cell phone before? Especially in Salem? So now you want me to distract Lili Faversham while you steal it out of her purse?
(Sees Lili.) Hi, do you remember me? Belle Black, John and Marlena's daughter? Can you tell me where you got your dress? Isn't it too bad that there's no place in Salem where I can buy a dress like that?
Lili: You could carry off anything, dear. Even something that covered enough of your body that it occasionally got into the camera frame so it wouldn't look like you're walking around this wedding naked.
Belle: I'm sorry, but you understand that I have to go hit redial on your
phone and see who Hope was calling now, right?
(does) Hello? Is everything all right? Why did you just answer "yes, princess?" Who are you? Is Princess Gina impersonating Hope? Is the real Hope dead? Or is this the real Hope and she still thinks she's Gina?
(Unfortunately, the phone explodes and Belle dies before she can give any information to Shawn-not-Douglas.)
Roman:
(to the room) Well, it's time for my favorite little brother to lead
the first dance.
Max:
(appearing) Me?
Roman: No, not you. Go back to camp, and say "hi" to Brady Black if you see him.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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