Tuesday, January 04, 2000

It's Tuesday's Synopsis!

Hopeless and Stefano are locked in the castle.
Stefano: Black widows are the most deadly of spiders. They mate and then turn on their partners and kill them. Kind of like what I tried to do to Vivian last year.

MEANWHILE, Chloe comes to say goodbye to Nancy.
Chloe: Okay, I will stay with you, but you can't tell Craig that I really am
your daughter.
Nancy: You little compulsive liar, you tricked me! Oh, I'm so proud of you.
You can really tell that we're mother and daughter. Sit down and I'll tell
you all about how I ruined Mike Horton's squeaky-clean reputation with just a few well-placed lies . . .

MEANWHILE, Bozo and Roman get ready for the wedding.
Roman: It means a lot that you asked me to stand up for you.
Bozo: Actually, it just means that everyone else in town turned me down or has done it for me before or both. I can't wait to marry the woman I love. Gina is so special-
Roman: Gina!?
Bozo: What, you didn't think I could actually be stupid enough to believe
she's Hope, did you? I have to see her now!
Roman: No, you can't see your bride before she comes down the aisle.
(Bozo looks surprised.) All that time you spent helping her pick on Marlena earlier today doesn't count.

MEANWHILE, despite the fact that I've killed Belle twice in a row now, she shows up for the wedding with John and Marlena in tow.
Belle: Eric, you're an usher too? Where is Shawn-not-Douglas? How come Bozo has a best man and at least two ushers but Hopeless only has one bridesmaid?
Your twin sister would be an obvious choice for another bridesmaid, but where is she? And where are Austin and Lucas and Nicole and Brady? Doesn't this seem like a small turnout for a Horton-Brady wedding? Do you think Mom is still worried about Hopeless? Did I tell you how nice you look in your tux?
(Eric takes off his bow tie and gags Belle with it. I'm not sure she's dead,
but she doesn't talk for the rest of the show.)

John: Oh no, my bandage has fallen off and I'm bleeding all over again.
Marlena: As a doctor, I am not concerned that that cut is still bleeding or
that you aren't keeping it clean or covered.

MEANWHILE, Greta and Gina are getting ready for the wedding as well.
Gina: Stop worrying about the gun, Greta. It is to protect my new family.
Greta: Technically, Shawn-not-Douglas and Marlena are part of your new
family, so you can't use it on them.
Gina: My dear Greta, when will you learn that I may do whatever I wish so you should stop confusing me with the facts?
(entering) Hopeless, do you remember the last time I gave you these earrings? Do you remember your grandfather?
Gina: No and no. Kick her out, Greta.
(after a flashback) I think Hopeless began to go downhill when she
stopped calling me "grandma" and started calling me "gran."
Julie: Shawn-not-Douglas, why do you want to stop the wedding?
Shawn-not-Douglas: Well, this woman did not know who you and Grandpa were when you came here on Christmas Eve, she even called Grandpa "Doug" instead of "Dad." She's been screaming at Marlena and condescending to her. She gave different stories to Marlena and me about where she was the first time she missed an appointment with Marlena. She's letting Greta and Lili run her wedding while freezing out her parents and grandparents. She never has any time for her grandmother. She's eating fancy imported food and wearing fancy imported clothes, which she has never done before. She has no time for me and can't even remember what sport I play; in fact, she's motherly toward Greta while treating me as a nuisance. Lili has been calling her "Gina." I don't think she's my mother.
Doug: Well, yeah, but don't you have any proof besides that?
(They, along with Marlena, confront Gina.)
Shawn-not-Douglas: I don't know why I feel the need to tell you about my relationship with my Dad. Maybe because you don't know anything else about me so you shouldn't know about this, either. But I love him and I'm begging you to postpone the wedding.
Gina: This is Bozo's and my decision, and our future! You have nothing to do with it, Shawn-not-Douglas. Get out. It's time for me to walk down the aisle.
Julie: Well, we tried. Put on your tux. You can do it in the time it will
take Hopeless to walk from this room to the next one, right?

SO, the wedding proceeds as planned.
John: Stop the wedding! I just remembered having sex with Gina or Hope or Hope-as-Gina or Gina-as-Hope on a submarine during my honeymoon.
Marlena: Are you okay?
John: Yeah.
Marlena: Oh. Okay.

End of Show
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