December 30, 1997

Snowed in? Don't worry. The synopsis provides several seconds' worth of entertainment.

Austin and Kate are at work. (In their place of work, that is. Not actually working.)
Austin: Ever since you gave Sami that job, you . . . ummm . . . (exhales loudly and runs his hand through his hair, making it stick up even more) . . . seem . . . tense. And I know that can't be because you hate Sami and always have. There must be another . . . ummm . . . reason.
Kate: I just want her to spend time with Will. You know how much I approve of her influence.
Austin: You could . . . uhh . . . (purses his lips and moves his hand aimlessly) . . . encourage her to go to college. I wouldn't have this great job if I hadn't-
Kate: You didn't.
Austin: Oh.
Kate: Anyway, believing she can get through college and find another man is wishful thinking on your part.
Austin: Wishful THINKING??
Kate: We should celebrate.

MEANWHILE, Mike and Lexie are also at work, at the hospital.
Lexie: You're in love with Carrie.
Mike: I must be doing a bad job hiding my feelings. Oh, no! She might find out and we might be happy! How awful!
Lexie: Carrie? Figure something out? Four years, minimum.
Mike: (relieved) Good. By then, someone else will be playing me.

MEANWHILE, John is attempting to keep Kristen away from her hearing.
Kristen: John, I'll explain the situation later. I don't have time to think of small enough words now.
John: I know everything.
Kristen: Oh, then you know I'm pregnant with your baby again. (she hastily shoves a couch cushion under her dress)
John: I'll only stay with you until the baby is born.

MEANWHILE, at the hearing
judge: Are you ready to make your statement?
Susan: (wailing) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
judge: What?
Marlena: She's just upset that she couldn't get a better lawyer than Mickey.
judge: Okay, she can leave and you can speak for her.
Marlena: Well-
"Kristen": Let me speak first!
Mickey: Go ahead. It's not like I can stop you anyway, or figure out if I should.
"Kristen": I've changed my mind. I'm giving the baby back.
Mickey: Kristen? Why is your neck twitching? It's almost like you're really Susan.
Marlena: You picked a fine time to become observant.
judge: I don't care. I want nothing to do with you weird people. Go away.

MEANWHILE, Sami is getting ready for the New Year's party.
Sami: I like this dress . . .
Franco: (entering) Hi nefer knew Sa-mee had a vulnerable side. Hile go take hadvantage hof hit. Sah-mee, tha's natha
type hof dress hue wan. Hue are a younk execadive. Imagin yourself in this drass.
Sami: (fantasy) Austin.
Austin: (fantasy) I can't believe . . .
Sami: (fantasy) You can't believe it's me?
Austin: (fantasy) No. I can't believe it's not butter. (he walks past her to a buffet table)
Sami: Maybe I should stick with the slutty dress.
Franco: Stop acting like a lovesick teenager.
Sami: I AM a lovesick teenager.
Franco: Oh yeah.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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