August 25, 1997

This is my next-to-last synopsis before leaving for college, so you won't have to put up with this for much longer. Days was a nice break from turning my life upside down today, so I almost don't want to make fun of it. RELAX! I said almost.

Hope and Abe are at the jail.
Hope: So John wants to let Stefano out? That's stupid even for him.
Abe: And he might not come back alive.
Hope: Die? In Salem?
Abe: What am I saying? John must be rubbing off on me.
Hope: If John vanishes and Roman dies, Marlena will be kidnappable.
Abe: What was she before?

MEANWHILE, John is talking to Kristen.
Kristen: I want Roman to live. Don't you?
John: Of course. Now leave me alone and let me think.
Kristen: Let him think? Gee, he figures out that someone else was crying our baby and he gets all uppity.
Caroline: (entering) John, I can't lose Roman again.
John: I know. You've lost him, what, five times so far?
Caroline: More, but I don't expect you to count that high. Don't feel bad, though. Austin can't even make it to five.
Hope: (entering) John, I'm gonna tell the teacher on you. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
John: Tattle-tale! (raises an eyebrow) So, don't you feel sorry for yourself after your problems with Bo and Billie and Franco?
Hope: Yes! I'm so picked-upon- hey! What was I just going to do?
John: I forget.

OVERVOICE: We will return for the second half of Days of Our Lives in just a moment.

Announcer: Ice breakers gum freshens your breath.
Woman: Your breath is much fresher.
Man: It's this ice gum. My mouth is frozen together, like when you lick metal in the winter.
Woman: So that's why I can't smell your breath.
Announcer: Whatever works.

Announcer2: This week on Sunset Beach . . .
Woman: He had no idea he was making love to you, did he?
Woman2: Of course he did. What is this, Days of Our Lives?
Announcer2: Sunset Beach is a very unique and original soap.

MEANWHILE, Mike and Carrie are still at the doctor's cabin.
Carrie: Austin and Sami are renewing their vows.
Mike: Did you hear wrong? (quietly) I hope not, I hope not.
Carrie: No, that's what happened. Austin's love for and obligation to Will has finally come between us.
Mike: Finally? What's been going on for the last two years?
Carrie: I just can't imagine life without him.
Mike: That's because you never HAD a life with him.
Carrie: Yeah, but . . .
Mike: You'll find a man who treats you like you deserve. Maybe even in this room.
Doctor: (aside) Mike, you're in love with Carrie.
Mike: But she doesn't love me.
Doctor. I heard she loves Austin. He's such a jerk.
Mike: You can figure out he's a jerk in an hour. Carrie takes five years.
Doctor: That's why I'm the doctor.

MEANWHILE, Sami is planning her wedding.
Lucas: I think you look beautiful.
Sami: So why don't YOU marry me?
Eric: (to phone) Carrie? Carrie? Dial tone.
Lucas: He knows a dial tone! The smartest Brady yet!
Eric: Sami, what's going on?
Sami: Nothing. You're crazy.
Eric: That's why I came back to Salem. I'll find out what you're doing myself. But since I am a Brady, that could take years.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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