August 19, 1997

Hi, everyone! Thanks to everyone who likes my synopses. Apologies to everyone who doesn't. Here's what happened on Days today, in case your real life got in the way and you missed it.

Mike and Carrie are stranded.
Mike: Carrie, I just want to do right by you.
Carrie: Everyone knows I'm not attracted to men unless they treat me like garbage.
Mike: True. I'll just have a dream sequence, then. That will make me more like Austin.
Carrie: Austin . . .
Mike: I'll get you back to him. When is this rain gonna stop? (smiles) Knowing Charlie, not until I've had a few years with Carrie in this cave.

MEANWHILE, Stefano is in prison.
Kristen: Stefano-ooo, what are you plannnning?
Stefano: Stop whining. That's Hope's job. Anyway, I can't tell you. I need John to see your genuine reaction.
Kristen: How would anyone know what I look like when I'm being genuine?
Stefano: Don't worry, I'll make John an offer he can't refuse.
Kristen: Sex?
Stefano: You admit, he can't refuse that.
Kristen: Great plan.
Hope: (entering) Stefano, what kind of a man are you?
Stefano: Has the character development on this show gotten so bad you have to ask?
Hope: Apparently. Kristen, you're so evil. How do you sleep at night?
Kristen: Sleep? Come on, people in Salem only go to bed for one thing, and it ainít sleep.
Stefano: Get John for me.
John: (next room) Celeste, Lexie. You still live in Salem, and that's a fact.
Celeste: (next room) We think Stefano has escaped.
John: (next room) He hasn't, and that's a fact.
Celeste: (next room) Oh. Sorry. I forgot my hat, and my radar is weakened.
Stefano: John . . .
John: (entering) What? Is that a fact?
Stefano: I can cure Roman.
John: Then I'll let you out, and that's a fact.
Stefano: (leaving) It's almost too easy.

OVERVOICE: We will return for the second half of Days of Our Lives in just a moment.

Announcer: Your walkman can eat your batteries.
MichaelJordan: I'm a poor, struggling basketball player. I can't affordbatteries.
Announcer: Rayovac batteries are the solution for poor people like Michael.
MichaelJordan: Now I have enough money to buy a few small countries.
Announcer: Rayovac can help you, too.

Announcer2: Pregnancy tests can be complicated.
Woman: It's so hard to pee on a stick.
Announcer2: We call E.P.T. the Error Proof Test.
Woman: But don't let your husband pee on it for you.
Announcer2: It can prevent disappointment.
Woman: I wanted to be pregnant.
Announcer2: I'm not sure you should raise kids if you can't read a pregnancy test.
Woman: They can read it for me.
Announcer: If you already have them, you aren't pregnant any more.
Woman: That clears things up.

MEANWHILE, Austin is thinking (if that's possible) about his future.
Austin: What . . . should . . . I . . . do?
Lucas: While you think about it, I'll take Will to see the horses. They remind him of his unc- er, father.
Eric: Austin, maybe you could call Carrie.
Austin: Which . . . end . . . of . . . the . . . phone . . . do . . . you . .. talk . . . in . . . to?
Eric: Never mind.
Austin: I . . . don't . . . want . . . to . . . be . . . a . . . part-time .. . father.
Eric: It's bad enough that you only have a part-time brain.

MEANWHILE, Marlena and Kate are inside.
Kate: I'm so sad Jack is going back to prison. My way of running him out of town was so much more creative.
Marlena: True. Oh, look, they're getting married again. The ink on their divorce isn't dry yet. Sami takes more after me than I'd thought.

End of Show
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