July 21, 1997

I'm not sure I should dignify today's show with a parody . . . wait, yes I am. Here's what happened.

Billie, in a very original plot idea, is chained to a bed in Arem- I mean Rome. Silly me.
Billie: What would Bo do in this situation? Hey, I know. He would have fake flashbacks. (pauses) Well, that didn't get me out of here. Oh, Bo . . .
Max: (entering) "Hobo?" Billie, I know that Bo doesn't wash his hair very often, but you don't have to call him a hobo. By the way, we're going to get you hooked on drugs again.
Billie: You can't. The person that existed back then doesn't exist any more.
Max: Why not?
Billie: She got a job on Melrose Place.

MEANWHILE, Kate and Bo are talking in the garden while they await the wedding.
Bo: I'm sorry I hurt you daughter, but I was always honest about my feelings for Hope.
Kate: Except for all those times you told her Hope was your past and she was your future.
Bo: Well, except for those times. Anyway, she seemed fine when I left her.
Kate: Maybe she was acting.
Bo: On this show? What are the odds of that?
Kate: Still, my mother's intuition tells me something is wrong.
Bo: Where was that intuition when Curtis was molesting her and drugging her every day?
Kate: Ummm . . . hi, Austin.
Austin: Uhh . . .
Kate: Always remember that I would do anything for you and Carrie. Unless of course it would mean inconveniencing me.
Austin: Uhhh . . .

MEANWHILE, Hope, Franco, and Laura are talking inside the church.
Hope: Where did Jack and Jennifer go?
Laura: They went home. Abby felt sick.
Hope: I didn't know you could skip a social event to take care of your child.
Laura: I guess you can. Excuse me. I'm going to go see Marlena.
Franco: Ope, whar you thinking abou?
Hope: I'm a Horton by birth and a Brady by marriage. I don't think.
Franco: But hue'wan to talk to Bo.
Hope: Yes, there may have been a misunderstanding.
Franco: Don goan see Bo.
Hope: You are such a good friend.
Laura: (interrupting everybody) There is a problem. Kristen is in the brideroom.
Lexie: Maybe we should take the kids to the basement.
Laura: That makes no sense. They're the only mature ones.

MEANWHILE, Kristen is indeed in the brideroom, with Roman in tow.
Marlena: I don't think that's him.
Roman: It's me, Doc. It's Roman.
Marlena: Get rid of him. I don't need another person calling me "Doc."
Carrie: And I don't need another person calling me "Punkin."
Marlena: Carrie, do you think that this is your father?
Carrie: Maybe. I've been having flashbacks about him. It was really weird- it was years ago, but my hair was exactly like it is today, and I got done specially for the wedding.
Laura: (entering) Remember, Stefano has faked deaths millions of times. That proves he didn't fake Roman's.

End of Show

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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