July 18, 1997

Sami and Lucas are in Austin's apartment.
Lucas: Sami, your hair looks beautiful. Maybe I should hook up with you instead of a always chasing a woman I can't have.
Sami: But that would be too easy.
Kate: (entering) There's my Will!
Sami: Kate, get your own baby.
Kate: I forget where I put him. I'll have to check the closet.
Sami: Speaking of closets, don't forget that I'm blackmailing you.
Kate: You don't have to remind me. I imagine the viewers are getting pretty sick of hearing about it, too. But you won't get Austin.
Sami: I deserve Austin.
Kate: No matter how evil you are, you don't deserve a punishment as severe as living with Austin. I'm pretty sure he counts as "cruel and unusual punishment".

MEANWHILE, Franco is arriving to see Hope.
Franco: Ope, I'brau you some flaa-wers.
Hope: Franco, I'm so depressed I won't go down the street for the wedding of two people I have known for years. I have
men bringing me flowers and friends who want to see me and a son who needs me. I'm so jealous of that Billie. She gets to be chained to a bed.
Franco: But Ope, you'har wearing my madder's ring.
Hope: I'm so glad that you have no motive whatsoever because I never lead men on.

MEANWHILE, Marlena and her friends are preparing for the wedding.
Carrie: I wonder if Austin and I will ever get married. Not that I even CARE after all this time, but I wonder.
Marlena: Maybe you'll get good news from Mickey.
Carrie: The best news would be an annulment, so I wouldn't have to put up with Austin anymore.
Marlena: Don't you want to spend more time with Austin?
Carrie: Why would I? Oh, but you're right, I do. Only Sami is keeping us apart.
Marlena: My sweet Sami-girl. I hate sweet, wonderful Sami who is ruining Carrieís life. She didn't go bad until I had that affair, but I know it couldn't be my fault because I'm so perfect.
Laura: (arriving) Marlena, thank you for letting me stay here. Just how big IS this place anyway? I didn't want to infringe on my daughter's life. And even though I'm an adult, and a doctor, I'm not getting my own place. And I know you're too sensitive to ask-
Marlena: I'm not too sensitive for anything.
Laura: I'm still in love with Jack. Hey, look, it's Susan.
Susan: Elvis and I are looking forward to the wedding.
Carrie: I would love to meet that baby's father. This is Salem, so there's no chance that I already know him.
Marlena: Of course not.
Carrie: Isn't it strange how Elvis's own mother takes care of him? Belle and Brady are so much better off with their nanny.
Marlena: Yeah. If I had to waste time raising them, I couldn't constantly poke my nose into your life.
Laura: Well, let's get to the wedding.
They do. Most of Salem is there.
Jennifer: Abby, look at Belle. She's the flower girl.
Abby: Iwannabeaflowergirl.
Jack: Maybe some day. We'll just forget about the half-dozen weddings you were the flower girl in.
Abby: But they were weird weddings.
Jack: Don't worry, this one will be, too.
Susan: Marlena, you look beautiful. I looked beautiful when I got married.
Marlena: Who did you marry?
Susan: John.
Marlena: Of course. Who hasn't?
Kristen: (entering) Me, of course. I brought you a present.
Marlena: Thank you! I haven't seen Chris for years.
Kristen: It's not Chris, it's Roman.
Marlena: It can't be Roman. He's dead, just like Stefano and Peter and John and me and Rachel and-
Kristen: It is ROMAN, okay?
Marlena: Have it your way.

End of Show
BACK to ClayZebra's INDEX

Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.

Copyright © 1998, w3PG, inc.

LinkExchange Network