July 2, 1997

I think I watched Days today, but I'm not sure. The show I watched seemed to be wrapping up several plots. You're right. That couldn't possibly be Days. But whatever I watched, here's what happened.

Sami is sneaking around the hospital.
nurse: Sami! Wait!
Sami: I have to hide. So I'll just bang some lockers around and talk to myself as loud as I can. I guess a hat can't disguise me. No fair! It works for Stefano!
nurse: Mike, I just saw Sami walking down the hall.
Mike: Sami? She can't walk. But I'll call Carrie. (dials) Hey, Carrie, I think Sami's running around the hospital.
Carrie: I'm not surprised. All I want is to be with Austin, but she keeps getting in the way. Sorry for sounding like a broken record.
Mike: I hadn't noticed. We do live in Salem, after all.
Carrie: Well, I'll go see if Sami is next door. (goes next door) Austin, is Sami here?
Austin: Of course.
Carrie: Sorry I woke you.
Austin: I wasn't asleep. I was just having flashbacks. Maybe I should go to the hospital and get that checked out.
Lucas: Yeah, I hear there's a flashback epidemic going around. But I'm sure Sami isn't running around the hospital.
Carrie: I'm glad you aren't scheming anymore. You're such a good friend. I would know if you were still scheming, because I'm smart enough to be an executive at Titan.

MEANWHILE, Franco is finally getting somewhere with Hope.
Hope: Franco, you are a great man. Except for killing that guy, and sneaking into the morgue with those contacts, and nearly killing Jill, and paying Jill to leave town and all.
Franco: Ope, you will love me someday. Wouldn't you rather be called "Ope" than "Fancy Face?"
Hope: Yes, but my memories of Bo are so strong.
Abe: (entering) Hope, Bo was undercover. He loves you.
Hope: I knew it!
Franco: Then why were you moping and trying to move on with me?
Hope: No reason. But you can come to Rome with me and watch me make out with Bo.

MEANWHILE, Billie and Bo are in Rome.
Billie: I've told you this a million times, and you always humiliate me, but I love you, Bo.
Bo: I don't love you at all. You almost had everything, but then Hope came back. He he he. Why do you look sad? I don't want to leave you sad, just because I've broken your heart (not to mention Hope's) dozens of times. What can I do?
Billie: Make love to me. I know you don't love me, but what would your (adoptive) brother John say if you turned down SEX?
Bo: I guess I'll have to do it, then.

MEANWHILE, John and Marlena are talking.
Marlena: I've been waiting so long for this.
John: But I thought you just wanted friendship.
Marlena: I let you think that.
John: That was rude of you.
Marlena: But I heard you in the church.
John: Eavesdropping is not a very nice thing to do.
Marlena: Hey, you can't even tell who you are in bed with. You never told Kristen she was your second choice. You're a jerk, too.
John: We DO deserve each other. But what happened to Kristen?
Marlena: It started when she hid that letter. She was so clever no one knew.
John: How clever do you have to be to outsmart me?
Marlena: At least you honor God's laws.
John: Yeah. I believe in marriage.
Marlena: The fact that all your kids are illegitimate-
John: Details, details.
Marlena: Well, I just got out of that secret room and your whole world just collapsed and there are at least seven people in my apartment, but-
John: Let's go.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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