July 1, 1997


Y'know, writing this little introductory paragraph is getting to be almost as hard as watching the show. Oh well.

Sami, Lucas, Austin, Carrie, and Will are still at the tricycle party.
Sami: Lucas, you are such a big help for putting the tricycle together.
Lucas: Well, Austin really did it all.
Sami: Pealing the stickers off the paper isn't "doing it all."
Lucas: At least he didn't get his hands stuck together this time.
Austin: Duh.
Carrie: Lucas, it's nice that you and Austin are getting along.
Lucas: Well, Will is his son and my nephew, or something like that. In Salem, it can be hard to say.
Sami: Tell me about it. Hey, can I see your driver's license?
Lucas: Yeah, here. (pause) What are you staring at? The photo isn't that bad. You look like you're on another planet.
Sami: I'm fine. (to herself) Another planet. Will is the product of an alien abduction. That's why his blood type doesn't match.
Carrie: Really, Sami, what's wrong?
Sami: I was just thinking about how much I love Mom. That's why I spit in her face every chance I get.
Carrie: Oh. That's nice.

MEANWHILE, Bo and Billie are on King's boat.
King: Bo, Billie is dead. Hahahahahahaha. Wait, why aren't you upset?
Bo: She's from Salem. She's not dead.
King: But you're too stupid to realize that.
Bo: Oh, right. BILLIE!
King: Stop it. I know you really love Hope. I mean, I'm a drug dealer, but rather than being concerned with money and evading the police, I'm concerned about who you really love.
cops: Freeze! Bo, Billie saved you!
Bo: Thanks, Billie. You've saved me so many times. Not as many times as you've nearly gotten me killed, of course. Now I'm going back to Hope.
Billie: Poor me.

MEANWHILE, Jennifer and Laura are talking at their home.
Jennifer: Mom, I'll always believe you now.
Laura: Sami is faking her amnesia.
Jennifer: Well, I'll believe you if you don't say anything that ridiculous.
Laura: Okay.
Trent: (entering) Here's your drill.
Jennifer: Thanks. Guess what? I think Peter is alive and planning to kidnap Abby and me. And Jack might get out of jail. What was your name again?
Trent: Trent- oh no, gotta come up with something now- Davis.
Laura: What did you say between "Trent" and "Davis?"
Jennifer: He didn't say anything, because he's a good and righteous man. Stop making false accusations.
Trent: Well, I can put in your new security system for you.
Laura: HELLO? What happened with Marlena's security system at the penthouse?
Jennifer: Peter is nothing like Stefano.

MEANWHILE, John and Marlena are at the aforementioned penthouse.
John: I have no place to go. I got rid of the loft, and I'm not going back to Kristen's.
Marlena: Stay here. The children will be thrilled.
John: What children?
Marlena: I think you have some.
John: Yeah, that might be a fact.
Marlena: Brian? Bradley? Brady?
John: What kind of a name is Brady? I'm sure I don't have a kid named Brady.
Marlena: Maybe not. But the important thing is-
Caroline: Hi! After months, no make that years, of knowing how you secretly feel about each other, I thought I'd interrupt now that you have a minute alone together.
Laura: Yeah, I thought the same thing.
Marlena: Want to watch?
Laura: Sure.
Marlena: John, I could see you everywhere while I was locked up.
John: Even in the bedroom?
Marlena: Hey, I watched you with Kristen all the time. Why not Susan, too?
John: That's why I love you. You're such a voyeur.
Marlena: I also saw you talk to my picture in the living room.
John: So you know how I feel. But how are we going to do a plot where people are honest with each other?
Marlena: I guess we could start by kissing. Anyway, don't worry. We'll be lying to each other by tomorrow.

End of Show


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