June 27, 1997

Okay, here's how I wasted another perfectly good hour of my time.

Sami, Austin, and Lucas are at the apartment.
Sami: Austin, let's look at the plans for the house.
Austin: Uh yes uh dear.
Sami: Where should we put Will's swing set?
Austin: Uh away uh from uh the uh pool.
Sami: Oh, so Will doesn't fall in.
Lucas: No, so AUSTIN doesn't fall in.
Sami: Good idea. Why don't you two put the tricycle together?
Lucas: Okay.
Austin: Uh Lucas uh why uh are uh you uh buying uh toys uh for uh my uh son?
Lucas: Well, he should have toys and you're always too busy doing it with Carrie to buy things for Will.
Austin: I uh haven't uh seen uh Carrie uh in uh several uh shows.
Lucas: You've never SEEN her. You just jump in the sack. Now let's build the tricycle.
Austin: Uh which uh end uh of uh the uh hammer uh do uh I uh hold uh again?

MEANWHILE, The Challenged One still hasn't quite grasped the situation at the DiMera Mansion.
John: No one is leaving this room until I figure this out!
Kristen: But that could take a while. Can we at least leave for John Junior's graduation from college?
MarLaura: John, Kristen is evil.
Kristen: Am I the only one who finds it strange that one of Salem's shrinks is always either kidnapped or possessed and
the other one spent most of her life in an institution?
MarLaura: She's helping Stefano!
Kristen: Why, I'm nothing like Stefano and neither were Peter and Tony and Megan and whatever other kids he had.
John: Kristen, going on the facts I believe you. There are two things I know for sure-
Abe: TWO! Wow, partner, that's a big improvement.
John: Anyway, I'm going to believe MarLaura. You were evil to lie about our baby's death.
Kristen: I did it to keep you.
John: You only postponed the inevitable.
Kristen: That's Charlie's goal in life.
John: Go away.
Susan: Jaaaawwwnnn, are you gonna lock me up? After all, you are in charge of the legal system in Salem.
John: (masculinly cocking an eyebrow) No, Susan, I won't.
Susan: Will you fall in love with me?
John: I know I'm the Challenged One, but does ANYONE know why I'm such a prize?
All: Nope.
John: I can't believe I didn't know the difference between Susan and Kristen.
Celeste: You can borrow my hat. It will keep any brains you have left from falling out.
John: Thanks.
Kristen: Everyone get out of my house!
All: Okay.
Abe: Lexie, don't let anyone in the house.
Lexie: Okay.
Abe: And don't cross busy streets, or talk to strangers, or go through Central Park at night, or give out your America Online password. Remember, AOL will never ask for your password.
Lexie: I remember. Bye everyone, don't forget to hug Marlena.
Carrie: See, Marlena, miracles can happen.
Marlena: What do you mean?
Carrie: Charlie's leaving, and I get to act against someone besides Duh-Boy. Mike, hug Marlena.
Mike: Yuck! No!
Carrie: Okay.
John: Well, everyone's gone. I feel so dumb. I don't want to go on, but I will, for my kids. That's right, I have kids!
Wow! But I have to see Doc.
Kristen: John, you still love me, right?
John: Fat chance.
Kristen: Just for that, I'm going to shoot someone.
All: I hope it's Charlie.

End of Show
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