June 20, 1997

I didn't watch Days today (good for me!), but here is a synopsis anyway. How can I write a synopsis without watching? I mean, it's not like two days of this show are ever the same . . . is it?

Bo, Billie, Hope, and Franco are in Rome.
Bo: Billie, I love you and you don't love me! Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!
Billie: I know, Bo.
Bo: Why don't you have a flashback to our wedding?
Billie: Okay, I'm having one right now. Wow, I look pregnant! What, did I think I was marrying John Black or something?
Bo: Oh, Billie, you're funny.
Hope: Bo looks in love with Billie.
Bo: I didn't until you arrived.
Franco: Ope, le's leave Rome now. You aff to check awn Shawn-Douglas.
Hope: Shawn-who?
Billie: Your son.
Bo: Oh, that's right.
Franco: Ope, you'ahr very distracted.
Hope: That's because I'm just a poor, frail, feminine little thing who can't handle watching some jerk who treats me like dirt marry someone else without passing out.
Franco: That's why I love ooo. Le's go.

MEANWHILE, Jennifer is at the hospital.
Jennifer: Hi, Dana! I see they dragged you out again! It must be AIDS-awareness day.
Dana: I'd just like to say that all of us at Days of Our Lives are very concerned about AIDS.
Jennifer: Yes, we are. Hi, Grandma!
Alice: Hello, dear. (pause) Did I mention that Days of Our Lives cares very deeply about AIDS?
Jennifer: We covered that. Do you have anything else to say?
Alice: Follow your heart.
Jennifer: Look, it's Lynn. She's such a good person. Just like Peter and Kristen and Trent and Sami and Lucas and Stefano and . . .
Lynn: Jennifer is actually right about me. I apparently have a moral code today. So I'll hide Laura from Stefano.

MEANWHILE, Kristen and Marlena are still in that room, and everyone else is at the wedding.
Kristen: Well, let's dig our way out of here.
Marlena: Why didn't we do this earlier?
Kristen: Because we're silly little women and we don't mind being locked up watching sex on a monitor, but we can't handle watching John get married.
Marlena: What do we see in him?
Kristen: How would I know? Go ask Charlie.
Celeste: John, I feel a presence very strongly. Look for Marlena in the wine cellar.
John: No. Your stupid hat is interfering with your radar.
Abe: John, I heard Marlena in the wine cellar.
John: I don't care. You're almost as stupid as I am.
Vivian: John, if I were Stefano, I'd put Marlena in the wine cellar.
John: I don't believe you. You're so evil that you once hit Stefano over the head to save me from the guillotine.
Stefano: I agree.
John: See, even this man I've never seen before agrees with me.
Susan: Everybody put on their Elvis outfits.
John: I know Susan was obsessed with Elvis. I know Kristen wasn't. I know there was something strange going on between Kristen and Susan. But I can't put two and two together because I'M JOHN BLACK!
(Then Kristen and Marlena hit a gas line. Gas floods the house and everybody dies.)

End of Show

BACK to ClayZebra's INDEX

Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.

Copyright © 1998, w3PG, inc.

LinkExchange Network