|One Life to Love is a weekly (schedule permitting) look at the
ups and downs, highs and lows, and ins and outs of life in Llanview.
OLTL performers were incredibly good sports this week as the scripts called for everything from Kevin and Grace's
dirty dancing to John and Rae (literally) howling at the moon.
My apologies to those who found the dysfunctional duo’s foreplay foxtrot a sensual delight, I myself collapsed
in embarrassed giggles. However, Susan Misner is most certainly a better dancer than actor -- perhaps she should
pirouette through all her scenes. Maybe it's me, but sometimes Tim Gibb's intensity as Kevin borders on the obsessive.
Brian the whacked-out rapist/janitor seems like a mellow dude in comparison.
I see the soap mags are pushing for a Rae/John pairing, and that's fine with me (anything to keep him away from
Tea). But Rae definitely needs to turn it down a notch -- her desperation is showing. The lady should either stop
salivating or start accessorizing with a designer drool bib, better yet, take a cold shower! How typical of the
small-yet-labyrinthine world of soaps that Linda Dano is now being romantically paired with the actor who used
to court her onscreen daughter (who now plays Skye) on their former soap (AW). My head is spinning!
Well, I was working on a major rant about the latest fluff-brained additions to the LPD -- Julie and Liz -- until
the latter's rape made me feel guilty about dissing her. Here's a character brought on strictly to fill the role
of sacrificial lamb. Liz's rape was engineered to advance two plot points: 1) interrupting Sam's confession to
Bo about Lindsay's sperm count scam, and 2) intensifying the rape story without sacrificing any major characters.
But with that said, is it too crass of me to admit I was relieved Kelly wasn't the victim (at least not yet)? I
have such mixed feelings about this storyline. On the one hand, I really don't think daytime needs another rape,
but I have to admit the story is well-paced and full of interesting twists, the latest being Sophia's involvement
as Brian's unwitting (sort of) accomplice.
Of course, little Julie remains safe and sound, so she's still fair game. Suffice it to say, this twerpy twentysomething
makes Andy Harrison look like Andy Sipowicz.
This week's other big events consisted of two reveals. A booze-addled Lindsay made the mistake of telling Sam that
she had altered Bo's sperm count on the lab report. So much for the new-found goodwill between these two! Sam's
warm-and-fuzzy feelings for his errant ex evaporated in a heartbeat, and he doesn't even know the full bombshell.
When she sobered up, Lindsay begged Sam to keep quiet. Gee, now Sam knows how Nora felt as the unwelcome recipient
of someone else's dirty little secret with potentially destructive repercussions. Sam wants to do the right thing,
he's just not sure what that might be.
Skye finally revealed her romantic history with Ben to Viki. And all I can say is "So what?". So what
if Ben had a relationship with Skye before he met Viki? So what if they're even still married? Because the show
has set up Ben and Viki as so completely rock solid, the ploy of old-flame-as-monkey-wrench generates very little
suspense. BTW: The Banner really needs to overhaul its hiring policies. This is the second time in a row they've
filled the position of Style Editor with a duplicitous double-dealer with a major hidden agenda.
And what was that poor excuse for a so-called big deal social event? How did the Banner's 65th anniversary celebration
turn into a pep rally for Viki's rejuvenated lovelife?! Still, soap parties are always fun if only as a fashion
show. So let me channel Mr. Blackwell for a moment and rate the party-goers. First we'll dispense with the fellas:
Joey and Kevin certainly clean up nice. Ben looked okay, but those Caption Kirk sideburns have got to go! Viki's
pantsuit was classy, if a tad matronly, while Skye was a real stunner -- she's got the perfect coloring to wear
metallic silver. Grace looked chic and sleek in strapless silver-gray satin (maybe a little too sleek, this girl
could benefit from four squares a day), though I wasn't crazy about her sideways ponytail. Jess was pretty in pink
-- very demure and age appropriate. Sophia looked dazzling in an effervescent lavender halter gown with sassy spangles,
but Kelly was pure Grace Kelly in a fabulous strapless canary sheath featuring a bodice sprinkled with rhinestones
(and she looked even better in her pretty undies!). Let's just hope Joey rescues her before she becomes Brian's
Till next week!