One Life to Love
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August 30-September 3 1999

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One Life to Love is a weekly (schedule permitting) look at the ups and downs, highs and lows, and ins and outs of life in Llanview.

OLTL performers were incredibly good sports this week as the scripts called for everything from Kevin and Grace's dirty dancing to John and Rae (literally) howling at the moon.

My apologies to those who found the dysfunctional duo’s foreplay foxtrot a sensual delight, I myself collapsed in embarrassed giggles. However, Susan Misner is most certainly a better dancer than actor -- perhaps she should pirouette through all her scenes. Maybe it's me, but sometimes Tim Gibb's intensity as Kevin borders on the obsessive. Brian the whacked-out rapist/janitor seems like a mellow dude in comparison.

I see the soap mags are pushing for a Rae/John pairing, and that's fine with me (anything to keep him away from Tea). But Rae definitely needs to turn it down a notch -- her desperation is showing. The lady should either stop salivating or start accessorizing with a designer drool bib, better yet, take a cold shower! How typical of the small-yet-labyrinthine world of soaps that Linda Dano is now being romantically paired with the actor who used to court her onscreen daughter (who now plays Skye) on their former soap (AW). My head is spinning!

Well, I was working on a major rant about the latest fluff-brained additions to the LPD -- Julie and Liz -- until the latter's rape made me feel guilty about dissing her. Here's a character brought on strictly to fill the role of sacrificial lamb. Liz's rape was engineered to advance two plot points: 1) interrupting Sam's confession to Bo about Lindsay's sperm count scam, and 2) intensifying the rape story without sacrificing any major characters. But with that said, is it too crass of me to admit I was relieved Kelly wasn't the victim (at least not yet)? I have such mixed feelings about this storyline. On the one hand, I really don't think daytime needs another rape, but I have to admit the story is well-paced and full of interesting twists, the latest being Sophia's involvement as Brian's unwitting (sort of) accomplice.

Of course, little Julie remains safe and sound, so she's still fair game. Suffice it to say, this twerpy twentysomething makes Andy Harrison look like Andy Sipowicz.

This week's other big events consisted of two reveals. A booze-addled Lindsay made the mistake of telling Sam that she had altered Bo's sperm count on the lab report. So much for the new-found goodwill between these two! Sam's warm-and-fuzzy feelings for his errant ex evaporated in a heartbeat, and he doesn't even know the full bombshell. When she sobered up, Lindsay begged Sam to keep quiet. Gee, now Sam knows how Nora felt as the unwelcome recipient of someone else's dirty little secret with potentially destructive repercussions. Sam wants to do the right thing, he's just not sure what that might be.

Skye finally revealed her romantic history with Ben to Viki. And all I can say is "So what?". So what if Ben had a relationship with Skye before he met Viki? So what if they're even still married? Because the show has set up Ben and Viki as so completely rock solid, the ploy of old-flame-as-monkey-wrench generates very little suspense. BTW: The Banner really needs to overhaul its hiring policies. This is the second time in a row they've filled the position of Style Editor with a duplicitous double-dealer with a major hidden agenda.

And what was that poor excuse for a so-called big deal social event? How did the Banner's 65th anniversary celebration turn into a pep rally for Viki's rejuvenated lovelife?! Still, soap parties are always fun if only as a fashion show. So let me channel Mr. Blackwell for a moment and rate the party-goers. First we'll dispense with the fellas: Joey and Kevin certainly clean up nice. Ben looked okay, but those Caption Kirk sideburns have got to go! Viki's pantsuit was classy, if a tad matronly, while Skye was a real stunner -- she's got the perfect coloring to wear metallic silver. Grace looked chic and sleek in strapless silver-gray satin (maybe a little too sleek, this girl could benefit from four squares a day), though I wasn't crazy about her sideways ponytail. Jess was pretty in pink -- very demure and age appropriate. Sophia looked dazzling in an effervescent lavender halter gown with sassy spangles, but Kelly was pure Grace Kelly in a fabulous strapless canary sheath featuring a bodice sprinkled with rhinestones (and she looked even better in her pretty undies!). Let's just hope Joey rescues her before she becomes Brian's next victim.

Till next week!

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