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One Life to LoveTell a Friend

 

November 27- December 1 2000


I think OLTL keeps getting better and better. I just hope the recent changes at the top (JFP out, Gary Tomlin in), don’t throw a monkey wrench into the works. With the possible exception of Will and Jess, I’m actively interested in ALL the storylines – even Rae’s!

One story that’s been improving by leaps and bounds is the Roseanne/Antonio/Sophia triangle. Roseanne caught Sophia pining over Antonio like a schoolgirl (writing his name on a piece of paper) – embarrassing! Ruthless Rosie royally dissed Sophia by telling her she’s no competition, because to Antonio, she’s just one of the guys. Later, when Sophia asked Antonio if she was "hot," he admitted he didn’t think of her that way because she’s his partner – ouch!

Later, Sophia wound up having Thanksgiving dinner at the Palace with Roseanne, Antonio, and Cris. But when Cris accidentally spilled wine on Antonio’s shirt, Antonio headed home to clean up. Sophia followed him and decided to up the ante by popping into the shower with him.

When Antonio got an eyeful of a buck naked Sophia, it looked for a moment as though he might go for it. Unfortunately for Sophia, Antonio interpreted her come on as a practical joke to pay him back for calling her one of the guys. How mortifying! Hoping to salvage her dignity, Sophia played along with the "gag," but when Roseanne showed up (also in the buff), Roseanne wasn’t laughing. Clever Sophia made the most of Roseanne’s discomfort and sashayed out the door. Roseanne was pretty steamed, but Antonio soothed her ruffled feathers with some steamy shower action. They must be the cleanest couple in Llanview!

After their makeout/makeup session, Roseanne was feeling pretty confident about her relationship with Antonio. So confident, in fact, that she asked if she could move in. Antonio wasn’t too enthusiastic, but when he found out Roseanne was broke, he felt obliged to at least consider it. Gee, Roseanne, ever heard of getting a job?

Later, a worried Antonio hashed out the situation with Sophia (though images of a nude Sophia kept intruding on his consciousness – hee hee). Sophia asked a good question: "Do you love Roseanne?" When Antonio said, not yet, she advised him to wait, then offered him a way out: Roseanne can move into the carriage house with Sophia while Joey’s at Dorian’s. I’m sure you can all imagine Roseanne’s reaction to that news!

But while Roseanne isn’t moving in, Cris is definitely moving out – and moving on. Even though R.J. knows he can’t trust Cris – not yet – his job offer still holds. R.J. assured Cris the new job is perfectly legit: managing R.J.’s new club. But when Antonio found out, he hit the roof and started in with the big brother lectures. Fed up with Antonio’s scolding and eager to distance himself from memories of Jessica, Cris packed his bags. I am loving this grumpy new Cris, and David Fumero’s performance as well! Soaps really are a wonderful training ground for raw young talent.

At Viki and Ben’s first Thanksgiving together, Jess announced that she’s moving in with Will. Viki didn’t seem too pleased, but kept her misgivings to herself. For once, Viki actually seemed concerned about Joey and questioned him closely about the pressures of staying with Kevin and Kelly. Then a mysterious package arrived for Ben: a dead fish with a threatening note. I guess that’s a mob Thanksgiving tradition. Realizing he may be putting his beloved Blondie at risk, Ben packed his bags and told his new bride he was taking off.

But Viki refused to let him go. Danger or no danger, they’re in this together. She even volunteered to go on the run with him, packing heat, side by side. Viki?!? Ben backed down, then came up with a plan.

When Kevin stopped by Llanfair the next day, Ben and Viki had given the cops the slip with the help of Jackie McNaughton. Viki and Ben on the run – a la Luke and Laura? No comment.

Once again, Asa donned his sinister shades and paid a visit to Roark, demanding to know if Roark was behind his son’s shooting. Not unless your son is Ben, retorted Roark, with unwitting irony. Roark was less than thrilled to see Asa, and told him he didn’t know where Mr. Gray the incompetent hit man had gone. Cut to a shot of Mr. Gray removing his wig and fake facial hair: why it’s Charlie the computer nerd – What a non-surprise!

Later, Charlie was lurking around the Banner, eavesdropping on Kevin and Kelly’s conversation. He seemed especially interested when Kevin told Kelly that the hit man had probably changed his appearance by now.

Things continued to be awkward over at Dorian’s with Joey and Kevin standing guard over Kelly. Joey was happy to discover that Kevin and Kelly still haven’t slept together. Kelly explained that she has no intention of having sex with Kevin while still married to Joey. Joey offered to speed up the divorce, but behind Kelly’s back, he was doing everything he could to stall the proceedings. Are they making Joey the heavy now? Well, I’m not buying it.

When Sophia stopped by Dorian’s to check up on Kelly, she overheard Joey telling his lawyer to delay the divorce because he’s still in love with his wife. Sophia warned Joey he’d regret this, but Joey said the only thing he’d regret is not fighting for the woman he loves.

Across town, Nora put her expose-Lindsay plan in motion. After gathering Bo, Melanie, Sam, Will, Jess, Hank, and Lindsay together at the Palace, Nora let slip the news that Larry had authorized another round of drug therapy to restore her memory. Then Nora pretended to "remember" her time at Colin’s in the hopes of forcing a confession out of Lindsay. What an obvious plan! Naturally, Lindsay saw right through Nora’s ruse and even turned the tables on her by pretending to confess to details that never happened. A really bad plan, Nora.

After everyone walked out in dismay, Nora lost it. She upended the table, then went for Lindsay’s throat. While Lindsay hissed at Nora to "prove" her involvement in the kidnapping, Nora continued to squeeze tighter and tighter till Sam arrived and pulled them apart. Lindsay put on a superlative display of righteous indignation and said she was too benevolent to press charges, then she warned Nora to leave her alone or she’d be forced to take action. Nora: 0. Lindsay: 1.

Sam left to make peace with Will, who told his dad in no uncertain terms, "leave my mother alone, don’t make me choose between the two of you." Seeing Will’s anguish, Sam agreed to back off Lindsay. Wuss.

Now that Plan B has failed so miserably, Nora has only one option: Colin. After Sam left, Nora called Colin and asked to see him. When Colin arrived at Nora’s, she told him she had a "memory of him… taking care of me." Colin pleaded with Nora: "I am not your villain." Nora thanked him for taking care of her and apologized for her harsh treatment of him in the past -- words Colin has been longing to hear. Looks like Colin isn’t nearly as smart as Lindsay – he’s walking straight into Nora’s trap.

Meanwhile, Lindsay summoned R.J. and demanded that he "fix" her problem with Colin – or they’re both going down!

Rae popped by the stationhouse to let John know that tonight’s the night. Ol’ Johnny-boy could scarcely contain himself. Things finally seemed to be moving toward their logical conclusion except for the small factor of a sniper’s crosshairs lining the couple up in its sights. Turns out, it wasn’t a sniper at all, but a snoopy photographer taking X-rated photos of John and Rae (why?). Question: Do cameras have crosshairs in the viewfinder?

But before John and Rae could actually "do it" (ewwww), they were interrupted by a distraught Sophia who needed to talk to mother-figure Rae after her seduction attempt backfired. Rae told Sophia to stop trying so hard and just be herself, and if she and Antonio are meant to be, it’ll happen. Good advice, actually.

Later, Rae dropped by the hospital to visit Max and ran into Renee who offered to authorize a DNA test for Rae and Max. Rae had a few second thoughts but soon jumped at the chance to find out if Max’s is her long-lost child. There was a tricky moment when Asa walked in on the discussion, but Rae managed to throw him off the scent.

When Blair took a brief break from her beside vigil over Max, Todd pulled her into the nearest supply closet to strategize. Working on the theory that believing a lie makes it true, Todd told Blair that Skye shot Max. Initially, Blair refused to go along with Todd, desperate to hold onto reality, however grim, but soon saw the value of Todd’s plan, especially when he told her about planting the gun in Skye’s room. Grateful for Todd’s help, Blair hugged him, but wondered what he wanted in return. Only your undying gratitude, said Todd.

When Todd asked if Blair would take Max back after everything that had happened, Blair admitted she could never feel the same way about Max again. "About time," said Todd. Then Blair asked Todd to stand by her and Todd agreed, "I’ve got nothing better to do." Blair’s trust in Todd is growing as her feelings for Max begin to change.

Across town, John Sykes paid a visit to the Bayberry Inn to see Skye. Defensive at first, Skye soon responded to John’s winning ways and let him in. Before long, she was telling him about Blair’s scissors attack after seeing Skye and Max in bed together. When John confronted Blair with Skye’s story, Blair denied seeing Skye with Max and made light of her "attack" on Skye. When Skye showed up, the two women get into, but their shouting match was interrupted by the news that Max is awake. John quickly asked Max that all-important question: "Who shot you?"

A groggy Max told John he didn’t know who shot him -- only that it was a woman. Skye immediately pointed the finger at Blair. Max repudiated Blair in front of everyone and then asked to speak to her alone. One on one, he asked Blair if she had shot him. When Blair denied it, Max told her, "Go as far away from me as humanly possible." Upset, Blair started to defend her actions and almost revealed the truth to John Sykes. Todd pulled the fire alarm to create a distraction.

Rae was feeling pretty good about the DNA test and her relationship with John until Renee showed her the latest story in The Sun: "Disgraced Detective Dallies with Divorcee," complete with photos of John and Rae getting hot and heavy at his apartment. Naturally, Rae freaked out and angrily confronted a nonplussed Todd ("So sue me."), then lit into Skye (the article’s author). Through clenched teeth and with every accessory trembling with rage, Rae told Skye the gloves are off and slammed her with a few hard truths. Skye tried to laugh it off, but Rae’s comments about Skye being a lonely little girl looking for love clearly hit home.

To make matters worse, John is in hot water at the LPD due to The Sun’s story. Bo put him on desk duty while the allegations (that he was neglecting his duty and working as Rae’s operative) are being investigated. He also took him off the Max shooting case because of Skye Chandler’s complaints. From now on, Bo’s in charge. Good, that means Blair will get away with it for sure!

Renee sent Asa home and then spoke privately with Max. She said she was relieved he was alive but pointed out that if Blair did shoot Max, she had some help: Max. Pitting Blair and Skye against each other is a dangerous game. When Renee told Max about the DNA test, he became angry and vowed to throw her out of his life just like Blair. After Renee left, Skye said she’d help Max with the DNA test results. (Here’s my guess: Skye substitutes her own blood for Max’s only to discover she’s Rae’s daughter.) Then Max told Skye that if Blair shot him, she would pay.

After pulling the fire alarm, Todd pulled Blair into the supply room to calm her down, but Blair was too hysterical, cracking under the strain and ready to confess. Todd grabbed her roughly, then got freaked out by his violent reaction and left. Blair ran after him.

Back at the penthouse, Blair assured Todd she’s not afraid of him. She told him she was the one out of control, not him. Then she asks Todd not to leave her again. Said Todd, "I won’t leave you, ever." Blair wondered if there was any hope for them – will they ever wise up or just keep falling for the Maxes and Teas of the world. Hmmm…

Eager to lighten the mood, Todd he tried to convince Blair that plotting and scheming to avoid detection is actually "fun." Blair agreed half-heartedly, then mused aloud that their being in cahoots feels like old times. Todd replied softly that those were the best times of his life. Wow – what an admission! Then Blair asked Todd what he wants from her in return. Todd was just about to explain when Bo arrived. The ballistics report is in, and since the bullet came from one of Asa’s guns, Bo had come to arrest Blair. That doesn’t sound like enough evidence to me! Especially since Blair passed the GSR test!

SNIPPETS

That ultra-matronly shawl-like jacket Viki was wearing at Thanksgiving was horrible – shapeless and too "grandma" -- ugh.

Love that groovy spiral staircase in John’s bachelor pad -- swingin!

I know it seems strange to use the words "Max" and "ethics" in the same sentence, but it’s really not ethical for Renee to authorize a DNA test on Max if he doesn’t want one.

I like Rae best when she’s counseling Sophia.

When Renee was giving Rae the condensed version of the Max Holden story, I thought for sure she’d mention Luna, but she didn’t (sigh).

I kind of wish Nora and Lindsay were friends.

When Nora mentioned that Rachel was celebrating Thanksgiving with Nora’s parents, I realized that Nora’s parents never came to Llanview after she returned from the dead!

Loved Lindsay’s leopard skirt – sure hope it’s faux! And Nora’s sophisticated shantung silk suit with coordinating sparkly shell was equally fetching.

Why does Antonio get to lecture Cris about not giving up his dream? Antonio gave up his dream of becoming a lawyer and he also gave up on his marriage.

Gee, Will got himself moved in in record time!

Though I much prefer Sophia to Roseanne, I have to admit that Roseanne is with Antonio fair and square. They may not have the world’s deepest relationship, but it’s not like she tricked him or lied to him.

How crude and inappropriate of Kelly and Kevin to make out in front of Charlie. Call Human Resources!

Looks like The Sun needs a proofreader. The headline about Max’s shooting read: "Every Dog Gets His Do (sic)" – the word is "Due."

Monday’s interesting flash-forward structure had me double-checking my VCR to see if my timer was off!

Maybe Skye and Lindsay can start a "Daddy Never Loved Me" club or a "Daddy Loves My Sister More" club.

How dumb was Nora’s plan to trap Lindsay?! First of all, there’s no way Larry would give her medication and then let her dash off to Thanksgiving dinner! The only plan dumber than Nora’s was Sophia’s!

Midge is taking off the month of December to get organized for the holidays, so see you next year!

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