One Life to Love
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June 5-9 2000

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Nothing major this week. Various storylines are plugging away. KdP debuted Blair’s new short ‘do, Nora’s "Nora-ness" is returning, Lindsay’s ever-tenuous grip on reality seems to be slipping, and, oh yeah, Jessica sang a song. [Program note: Midge’s cable went out on June 8 (grrrrr), so I can’t comment on Thursday’s show.] Back at that rockin’ warehouse, the rest of the band showed up, and lead singer Heather took an immediate dislike to Jess, royally dissing her first attempt at singing backup (to be honest, Jess wasn’t too good). But after everyone left the room, Jess promptly belted out a power ballad -- !?!

Cris overheard her and was so impressed he gave Jess a big smooch. After that, Jess decided that until Will is able to go home, all three of them need to put any feelings beyond friendship "on hold."

So what did I think of Erin Torphy’s singing? I have to concur with my cyber pal Sizzle, who summed it up in two words "Star Search."

Meanwhile, the search for the teen trio continued. Summoned to Crossroads by several of his former underworld cronies, Ben found Viki dancing attendance on the three wise guys (including Midge fav Jackie McNaughton), serving up Bloody Marys and some Runeonesque lingo. The mob guys gave Ben enough information to track down the kids.

This is the part I missed due to cable problems, but from the recaps, it seems Ben tried to talk Jess into returning to Llanview and letting Will flee the country but Will wouldn’t leave without Jess. Then a state trooper showed up, Ben and Jess fooled the cop, and the kids split.

Back in Llanview, Kevin and Kelly were burning the midnight oil digging up dirt on Asa. Antonio stopped by to give them his personal excusive about the time Asa perjured himself and left Antonio twisting in the wind over Carlo Hesser’s murder. Kevin and Kelly acted like they had the scoop of the century, but that sounded like old news to me! Joey caught them in a celebratory moment, and acted a bit suspicious. Poor Don Jeffcoat! When are they gonna give Joey something to do besides act the genial bore?

Speaking of genial bores… Rae freaked out after Daniel snuck into her room and left a taunting note. John calmed her down with some soulful stares and a stolid air of manly take-charge (what’s wrong with a good sharp slap?). I have less-than-zero investment in the story of Rae’s search for her daughter. Unlike most of OLTL’s other storylines, this one doesn’t impact anyone but the principles, so unless you’re into Rae, file this under "who cares." Thank heavens, Sophia showed up to provide some much-needed energy and comic relief. Oh yeah, Rae and John finally smooched this week. You can file that one under "who cares" as well.

Speaking of saucy Sophia… This Sophia vs. Antonio thing is heating up pretty quickly, though I’m confused by the fact that they’re not actually at the police academy. Somehow, their training is taking place in-house at the LPD, and they seem to be the only two recruits (a few more showed up later in the week). Still, I don’t want to nit-pick too much because this could have potential. I love the way Sophia doesn’t hesitate to call Antonio on his BS, even though she’s pretty full of it herself. (Though in all fairness, this second-string story is a bit of a comedown for KdLR from his A-Team glory days.) Naturally, it wasn’t long before the two partners wound up handcuffed together with the key missing. No doubt more hilarious hijinks await us!

Actually, the week’s biggest chuckle came courtesy of R.J. I’m happy to report that R.J. finally got a little justice this week -- even if he had to manufacture it himself. First, he showed up at the LPD and convinced Hank he wanted to extend the olive branch by helping Bo nail Jeff Barnes (R.J. had been an eyewitness to Barnes’s attack on Bo). But when Bo questioned him, R.J. claimed he’d never seen Barnes before and insisted that Bo had tripped, fallen down, and knocked himself out. Bo had no recourse but to cut Barnes loose. I loved it! Then R.J. decided he and his new friend should get better acquainted. Go, R.J.!! Sometimes a brother’s got to find his own damn justice in the Man’s world!

Bo stopped by Sam’s intending to broach the topic of Matthew’s paternity, but lost his nerve after seeing Sam and Matthew together. Naturally, the ever-empathetic Melanie picked up on Bo’s special interest in Matthew. While Sam put Matthew to bed, Bo and Melanie had a heart-to-heart. Bo told her (not in detail) about his breakups with Nora and Lindsay, and Melanie confessed she still had feelings for Colin, even though she had little faith in his ability to change. From Bo’s comments to Melanie, it seems his feelings for Lindsay have more to do with guilt and an attempt to keep faith with Nora’s last wishes than they do with actual love. In fact, Bo told Melanie (referring to their one-night stand), "I trusted you more that night than I do Lindsay now." Ouch.

Later, Bo stopped by Lindsay’s. She did her level best to lure him back between the sheets, but Bo’s wouldn’t bite. Bo told Lindsay he’d tried to talk to Sam about Matthew, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Gee, Bo, I guess it’s not that easy to tell someone a painful truth rife with potentially devastating repercussions -- is it?.

Speaking of secrets… Lindsay had to do some fast-talking to get Colin to keep quiet about Nora. When Colin realized Bo and Lindsay were an item, it gave him renewed hope for getting Melanie back. For a moment, it looked like Colin might burst Lindsay’s bubble about her "perfect" Bo, but he decided to keep her in the dark about Bo and Melanie, since an in-tact Bo and Lindsay gave him better leverage with his wife.

Melanie stopped by home "to pick up a few things," but really to test the waters with Colin. He seemed to be making some headway until Nora made noise upstairs, and Melanie leaped to the conclusion her wayward husband was up to his old tricks. Given the circumstances, Colin couldn’t exactly explain the truth without doing even more damage, so was forced to let his wife assume the worst.

Meanwhile, Lindsay was wracking her twisted brain, trying to come up with a way to pay off Colin, when who should show up but a guilty Roseanne, eager to help. It didn’t take Lindsay long to convince Rosie to pony up a sizeable donation to the "Free Willy" fund. Too bad, Will, Jess, and Cris won’t see a penny of that cash.

On Friday, eagle-eyed Lindsay finally spotted the Nora poster on Bo’s desk (he’s not very organized!), and managed to slip it into her purse. Lindsay is really getting desperate! Then, she offered to have Bo’s baby (just in case Matthew turned out to be Sam’s). Bo looked downright queasy in response.

Once more, Colin resolved to come clean about Nora. So he marched over to Sam’s ready to confess the truth. Unfortunately, Melanie interrupted, and between her and Sam’s self-righteous attitudes, Colin got fed up and left. Honestly, I don’t blame him.

Back at Colin’s house, Nora was beginning to recover her wits, strength, and resourcefulness. She managed to pen a note ("Help!"), affix it to an alarm clock with some of her bandages, and fling it out an open window – good girl! Too bad, Colin found it. Nora looked mad and demanded to know "What the hell is going on!"

Speaking of mad… Nasty Skye arranged to have Blair’s shorn locks delivered to her on a breakfast tray the next morning. When Blair realized what had happened, she let out a blood-curdling scream and went for Skye’s jugular. Too bad Max pulled her off. Fed up, Blair jammed on Asa’s Stetson and went looking for Ben. Instead, she found Sam, who agreed to continue bankrolling B&B United. Unfortunately, Skye has a sixth-sense for treachery and told Max she was pretty sure the "B" in B&B stood for Blair.

Max believed Skye (hey, she is right) even though Blair tried her darndest to throw him off the scent and pin the blame entirely on Ben. The problem is that Max knows Blair too well, and "B&B United" has Blair’s fingerprints all over it. Max slithered off to confront Ben, who acted really studly. I don’t think Ben has ever been better! He taunted Max and really sweated him about Asa. Then he told him their deal was off unless Max gets Asa to back off Will. Ben really made Max look like a fool – cool!

Back at Buke Manor, Renee gave Skye another tongue-lashing, but her harsh words barely dented Ms. Chandler’s armor. Blair had better luck spiking her rival’s guns by locking her in the wine cellar and convincing Max that Skye had gone back to Pine Valley and couldn’t accompany him on his business trip.

SNIPPETS

Viki’s cancer story has really been back-burnered. No doubt the show fears too much bleakness will cause a ratings nosedive, but if you can’t give a story like this 100% commitment, then don’t even attempt it.

Why does Jessica have to actually be in the band? Can’t she haul equipment like the guys?

The scenes with Nora trying to attract attention by knocking things over with her big bandaged arm verged on the comical.

How come Colin and Melanie’s house has such little old lady décor?

Jessica’s moussed and braided ‘do might be a good disguise, but it’s not very flattering.

Keeping Nora hidden away like this sure sounds like kidnapping to me. How are Colin and Lindsay gonna get away with it?

Thumbs down on Colin’s New-Agey description of intimacy when he told Melanie, "it’s been ages since we shared each other." What’s wrong with "hide the salami"?

LOL when Sophia called Antonio "El Leon"!

Why doesn’t Ben just confront Asa with the fact that he’s his son and demand he lay off Will – it might work!

Erin Torphy’s singing wasn’t the best I’ve ever heard, though it certainly wasn’t the worst. I’m just wondering if this will be happening on a regular basis. I mean, if they’re looking for a singer on the show, Kassie dePaiva would be my first choice.

I hate to see Blair groveling before Max, even if it’s just a ruse. This "attack from within" strategy doesn’t seem to be working. Why not cut your loses and move on?

That’s a mighty sturdy alarm clock Colin has – it takes a licking and keeps on ticking!

Everyone keeps telling Sam that Nora was lucky to have him. But as I recall, Sam and Nora were still estranged at the time of her "death."

I’m glad Rae finally mentioned Myrtle!

I’ve always liked Jackie McNaughton and appreciate the way he pops up whenever they need a wise guy in the storyline.

So where is Jess getting these trendy new outfits?

I took KdP a lot of guts to cut her hair, and I commend her for taking the risk! Still, her new look will take some getting used to. Maybe it will grow on me!


Till next week!

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