One Life to Love
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April 10-14 2000

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Props to Phelps and McTavish for continuing to put real oomph back into the Friday cliff: This week, Kelly and Joey announced their marriage just as Kevin was about to make an open declaration of love – a classic serial move! But more on that later.

As the week began, things were still shaking over at the LPD stationhouse. Bo asked Lindsay if she had something to tell him. And Lindsay almost revealed the truth about the miscarriage, but instead of making a simple declarative statement, she launched into the usual Lindsay verbal shuffle. That made Bo mad and Lindsay shut down.

Then Hank had the difficult task of relieving Bo of his duties while R.J.’s charges are investigated (Gee, are they actually following procedure this time?) Bo handed over his badge and everyone looked like they were gonna cry (boo hoo).

Nora asked Sam if they had a future and didn’t like the answer she received. He told her he wanted to concentrate on Will’s case and they’d have to wait and see. At first, I thought Sam was being unreasonable, but when he caught Nora staring longingly at Bo, I figured he was right to be cautious.

Later, Lindsay told Sam she blames Nora for the loss of her child. Yep, Lindsay’s back to blaming Nora for everything that’s ever gone wrong in her life – from the loss of Bo to her lost dry-cleaning! Sam was flabbergasted (though you’d think he’d know Lindsay by now). When he tried to talk sense to his volatile ex, she started blaming him too. Looks like that kinder, gentler Lindsay is a thing of the past. Good! Every soap needs a few full-tilt bad girls to keep things hopping.

So Lindsay’s gonna make Nora pay. Will Matthew be her pawn? Lindsay ran into Matthew and his nanny in the park and when the woman explained that Nora was running late and she had to take her mother to the doctor, Lindsay offered to take Matthew home. Initially, Lindsay meant to do just that, but then she got a flat tire. When Sam couldn’t reach her, he assumed the worst. And when Lindsay got his angry voice mail, she took Matthew over to Bo’s (he was out) and toyed with the idea of telling Bo that Matthew could be his son. I guess Lindsay figures that since things are over between her and Bo, she might as well wreck what havoc she may.

But other than making a general mess of things, I don’t see how revealing the truth (or potential truth) about Matthew serves Lindsay’s purpose. It would only further convince Bo that she’s untrustworthy and might forge a very strong bond between Nora and Bo.

When Sam told Nora that Lindsay blames her for the miscarriage, Nora acted shocked (which I found rather disingenuous – come on, Nora!). Worried for Matthew’s safety, they called the cops. Then Nora called Bo’s answering machine to say Lindsay might have gone off the deep end – was that necessary? Naturally, Lindsay heard the message, got even madder and deleted it. Soon Sykes had located Lindsay’s car with the flat tire. Now Sam and Nora didn’t know what to think. Thinking fast, Lindsay brought Matthew home before Sam and Nora got back and then acted sweet as pie when they arrived: “Where’ve you been?”

Speaking of Llanview troublemakers, the diner was jumping for Roseanne’s bogus wedding reception. (Question: Did Roseanne rent those guests? I’ve never seen any of them before.) Rosie even had a invitation messengered over to Llanfair for Jess. That turned out to be a mistake because Jess and Will showed up and starting mocking Roseanne. Then Cris got into the act and announced to the crowd that Roseanne was donating $135,000 to the Megan Foundation (the exact amount Will is accused of embezzling).

Then Cris, Will, and Jess gave the check to Hank expecting him to drop the charges – huh? This trio is a little old to be so naïve. Still, Hank was apparently impressed by the gesture because he suddenly offered Will another (much better) deal: Six months in a minimum-security prison and 300 hours of community service upon release. Despite Sam’s lingering reservations (he really thinks the charges should be dropped), Will was happy to take the deal. I’m glad the show didn’t let Will off scott free. I know I’ve been harping on this, but Will did take $35,000 from the Megan
Foundation. I only wish Roseanne would have to do some time too. That wily minx!

R.J. stopped by the Penthouse to make sure Roseanne would back up his claim of assault against Bo. Roseanne hemmed and hawed a bit, which didn’t improve R.J.’s mood. Then John Sykes showed up to “encourage”
Roseanne to tell the truth (how inappropriate!), and that made R.J. even madder. Sykes continued to act all high and mighty so R.J. ran down all the dirt Johnny-boy has gotten away with since blowing into town (falsely accusing Dorian and R.J. of murder, covering up for Barbara Graham, being in cahoots with senator Graham), and I think he hit a nerve.

Meanwhile, Antonio was trying to prove something to Roseanne. He insisted she go out with him and try to have some “fun” (I guess Antonio’s idea of fun is sitting in a bar playing video games). Actually, when she lets down her guard, Roseanne seems to enjoy Antonio’s attention. As obnoxious as he can be, at least he seems interested in her and that’s more than you can say for Cris. Plus he ain’t exactly hard to look at. No sireee! Before long, Antonio was moving in for a smooch. Say, isn’t he still married?

I realize A-Team die-hards will have my head for this, but I actually like Roseanne and Antonio together. I can see the attraction: they’re both lonely, both hurt, and Antonio is much more on sneaky little Roseanne’s wavelength than straight-arrow Cris ever was.

Roseanne thinks she can use Antonio to make Cris jealous, while Antonio thinks he can woo Roseanne away from Cris. My guess is they’ll both outfox each other by falling for each other.

Roseanne invited Antonio to join her for a hot tub at Serenity Springs. When Antonio hopped in in the buff, Roseanne’s big eyes got even wider! Of course, Roseanne had also left a note for Cris to meet her there as well. And when she saw him walking up, she planted one on Antonio. Too bad Cris acted like he could care less and Antonio had a good laugh. KDLR is clearly having a great time playing the cool Casanova. I agree with Antonio: “This is gonna be fun.”

Across town, Joey asked Kelly and Kevin straight out: is something going on. And they lied. Actually, the way they denied it seemed pretty suspicious to me, but Joey believed it (or claimed to).

Sophia showed up and told Joey that she had (again) made up the stories about Kevin and Kelly. Joey and Kelly stormed off. Then Sophia told Kevin she had set up him and Kelly and gave him the tape. I think that was pretty nice of Sophia, but Kevin gave her a big lecture – hypocrite!

When Kevin told Kelly what Sophia had pulled, Kelly charged off to find her. She found her alright: crying her eyes out in the LPD ladies room over the death of her brother (knifed in a prison fight). Kelly’s naturally forgiving nature came forward and soon she was comforting her erstwhile nemesis. Awwww…

After Kelly and Sophia declared a truce, the entire LPD “family” took up a collection for funeral expenses. Sophia was blown away and signed up for Police Academy Training as John looked on approvingly – LPD, look out!

Back at Cherryvale, Dr. McGuyver (Bo’s new sweetie) stopped by to discuss Viki’s feelings about the breast reconstruction. Then Dr. Gloom-and-Doom arrived to deliver the bad news. Tests showed the presence of cancer in Viki’s lymph nodes. His recommendation: a thorough course of chemotherapy – several months’ worth. I wasn’t surprised by the news. This is a major storyline and it would’ve been a cheat to wrap things up too quickly. Viki handled the sobering news with stoic calm. Kevin was upbeat (on the surface), but Joey looked stricken. (And where was Jess?)

Later on, Viki and Kevin had a nice mother/son talk about his feelings for Kelly. Viki told him to face his feelings, not hide from them. Emboldened by his mother’s support, Kevin was just about to tell Kelly he loved her when she announced that she and Joey and eloped. Timing is everything!

Ben had a pretty lousy week. His sixth sense was telling him something was wrong with Viki, so he called her. Still groggy from the surgery, Viki was cold and distant and asked him not to call again. Even I felt sorry for Ben . When he tried to call in his marker with Skye, she refused to help him get Will off the hook (this was before Hank’s offer). Then Ben ran into Renee who blasted him for causing Asa’s heart attack and refusing to help. Poor Ben again. It must be tough knowing your real mom hates your guts.

Max returned to Llanview (without Asa) and immediately tried to mend fences with Blair. But that’s gonna take some time. First, Blair sashayed into the mansion laden with packages from a very expensive shopping spree – all on the Buchanan dime – with a handsome young man in tow to carry her loot: Tim (a nod to ABCTim?). Max played it cool by calling Blair’s bluff, encouraging her to spend as much as she likes and to have a fling with Tim if that would make things even between them. Then Blair pretended she wanted to forgive Max. Just when she had Max believing her, Blair shut him down and stormed out – HA!

Blair wound up at Crossroads where she tried to get Ben to partner up with her against Asa, but Ben seems serious about letting sleeping dogs lie. Max showed up to find Blair tending to Ben’s aching head, then Skye arrived and Blair asked Ben to kick them out. When Ben told them to hit the bricks, a grateful Blair started batting her baby blues his way. Look out, Ben!

SNIPPETS

What’s with Ben’s headaches and blurred vision? I thought his doctor friend checked him out? Did he fail to go back for the Cat scan?

The minute Will sees an opening with Jess, he pressures her for more. Now he’s talking marriage again – come on!

Why weren’t the Vegas honest with that priest at the reception? I’m not saying they should have made a big scene, but why not take him aside and clue him in about Roseanne’s little stunt?

Lindsay’s right about Nora. When Bo makes a mistake, she’s as protective as a mama lion.

This little scare about Matthew brought Nora and Sam closer than they’ve been in weeks.

When Sam was going on and on to Hank about how tough it would be for Will in prison, why didn’t Hank bring up Rachel? She went to prison and she’s doing fine now! In fact, she’ll soon be back in Llanview – yeah!

I loved the music in Monday’s moody montage!

Bo really needs a new haircut. He’s looking shaggy and baggy.

What is Kelly thinking? Does she think Joey wants to be treated as a charity case? If Kelly doesn’t love him the way he loves her, she owes him the truth – painful though it may be. Perhaps it’s time for Joey to let go of his “Kelly fantasy.” Rushing into marriage like that smacks of desperation.

Did anyone else notice the nice relaxed chemistry between Kevin and Melanie?

When Ben was subtly trying to pump Sam for information about his “birth,” I got to wondering. If Ben was considered a “miracle baby” (his mother’s words) does that mean that after Sam his mother couldn’t have any more children? So was Grace adopted too?

If it’s a battle of wits and wills between Antonio and Roseanne, Midge’s money is on Rosie.

I’d like to see Lindsay and Skye become friends or at least co-conspirators.

LOL as Jessica’s two suitors try to “out nice” and “out fair” each other.

So how exactly did Kelly know that Sophia’s brother had been killed – is she psychic?

Does R.J. have a key to Roseanne’s Penthouse?

I realize Jess is happy for Will, but shouldn’t she have been with her mother at the clinic?

Charissa Chamorro (Sophia) is a really good crier. I was more upset about her losing her awful brother than I was about Lindsay losing her baby!

I’m not convinced Kevin loves Kelly. I think his feelings have everything to do with Grace’s death. The shrinks call it transference, dummy!

Wow! Joey and Kelly’s marriage was a surprise! I give it six months, but didn’t Kelly look fantastic in that sleek Grace Kelly-esque cream suit?

Is it possible? Could Kelly and Sophia ever be friends?

So does Jason-Shane Scott have a movie or pilot lined up? Is that where “Will” will be for three-to-six months?

Jared finally made it into the opening montage – congratulations!

Till next week!

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